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Would every man cheat if he could?

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 December 2014) 8 Answers - (Newest, 10 December 2014)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have big problems trusting men

One of my friends claims that almost every man would cheat on his wife if given the opportunity to with a woman with a porn star body if he could be guaranteed not to be caught

The sad thing is I think she might be right

I can honestly say that there is no way I would want to do this even if I knew I'd never get caught and it's not just about guilt

The love I feel for my partner would simply make it not enjoyable for me no matter how hot the guy

But honestly men, please, the truth? If you KNEW 100 percent you wouldn't get caught and a woman looking li the typical hot bodied mainstream porn star ( but not an actual porn star) offered sex, would you do it?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (10 December 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntThere is a difference between being attracted to someone and doing something about it.

I can pretty much assure you that all men would look. And find another woman attractive.

I do not think that means they would cheat. Emotionally or physically.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2014):

I don't think so. I've had boyfriends who would cheat if the opportunity came up. The reason I know is because in addition to sneaky behavior, I found out they were in fact cheating. And I've had boyfriends who wouldn't cheat. The reason I know is because they acted differently than the cheating ones. They were not sneaky, they always informed me of their whereabouts, and they never put themselves in situations that lead to cheating.

The guys I dated who are cheaters had very similar character types. They tend to hit the bars often with their friends, without you. They tell you it is innocent, just blowing off steam. They usually stay out late, without you, till 2 or 3 am, with little consideration for how you feel about that. Sometimes they don't even make it home cause they crashed at their "buddies" house. They have unexplained absences. They have an answer for everything. This ones a dead giveaway: they'll pick a fight with you for no reason and storm off to not be heard from for a couple of days. And they usually pick this fight on a Thurday night, right before the weekend begins. And usually all their friends are cheaters too, so they are in a social milieu where their deviant behavior is both acceptable and encouraged. Birds of a feather flock together. And beautiful or ugly, the cheater doesn't care. He'll cheat on you with anyone.

Guys who don't cheat are very different. They rarely hit the bars, much less without you. If they do go out to grab a beer with a friend, they let you know where they will be, when they will be home and they do not stay out late, out of respect for you. He'll be home at a decent hour, 9-10 pm latest. In fact, you always know their whereabouts. Everything they do, they work it around showing utmost consideration to you and your feelings. They have no unexplained absences. When they go out, it's with you. When they vacation, it's with you. And usually their friends are not cheaters and are in committed relationships themselves.

So sure, while it is in the nature of all people to be capable of cheating, guys who don't cheat are very careful not to put themselves in situations that could lead to that. Whereas men who cheat do.

As for it happening serendipitously, I have seen men turn women down because he has a girlfriend. It definitely happens, I've seen it with my own two eyes. It doesn't matter what she looks like, if its not in his character to cheat and he is happy with his girlfriend, he will turn a girl down. May even get annoyed at her advances. Even when he knows the girlfriend may never find out. If he has a conscience, the guilt alone will get the best of him. Men like smart women so if he's inlove he knows his girlfriend is not stupid. If he were to cheat, regardless of whether he knows she would never find out, per se, he won't be able to look his gf in the eyes, which will be a dead giveaway. For this type of man, he weighs out a lot more scenarios in his head. It's not that easy for him to throw it away just for instant gratification. He knows he'll enjoy it momentarily and then feel like a complete piece of sh*t for the rest of the year.

Cheating rarely has anything to do with you. It has to do with the guy and his character. Some men cheat. Believe it or not, some men really don't.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2014):

Millions of men would not cheat like that.

I'm sorry if you have not surrounded yourself with enough of these kinds of men in your life. But plenty of them do exist.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (9 December 2014):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYou might, ever, find one or two who wouldn't....

Why do you ask? Do you need to find one of them?

Good luck...

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (9 December 2014):

mystiquek agony auntNo not all people cheat even if given the perfect opportunity and no chance of getting caught. Its called loved and respect for their partner. All we seem to see on this site is cheating but trust me, not all people cheat. You just hear about the ones that do.

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (9 December 2014):

BrownWolf agony aunt

I love these comments :) First of all...It takes two people to cheat. If there are men who are willing to cheat, and women who will allowed married men or attached men to have sex with them, then yes.

Same thing goes for women who cheat. There has to be someone who says yes. Not all men will cheat, same as not all women.

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A male reader, lifesgreat United Kingdom +, writes (9 December 2014):

I had a relationship from 17-22 with a girl , and I used to work far away from my gf .

me and these other 2 chaps used to work on the town centres high streets ( different parts ) They used to get girls and cheat on there partners heck they used to get 3 somes easily. And so I used to have girls talking to me and then trying it on with me , heck I even had one girl walk into the local toilets with me saying lets just F** and my current works mates egging me on..but I didn't.

The thought of doing that someone seems the most disrespectful thing out there to me then later on in the relationship my gf did cheat on me lol go figure

so not all do but I feel the way you do about women I feel cheating in todays society is not a taboo as it used to be and well people forget about it very quickly ...except for the people who was cheated on.

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A male reader, SensitiveBloke United Kingdom +, writes (9 December 2014):

SensitiveBloke agony auntNo, not all men would cheat.

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