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Work colleague or more, plus he has a girlfriend? Help!!

Tagged as: Cheating, Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 April 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 April 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi this is a problem I feel terrible about so go easy on me! There's this guy I work with who I have always thought was attractive but have never really got to know until recently because we've been working on the same project together. Working on the same project together has meant spending time with each other, having meetings over coffee and just chatting away to each other. We have a real laugh and really click, but lately our "meetings" have been coming more and more heated - lingering looks, flirty touching each others hands, legs, arms, etc... I am really starting to like him - he makes me feel special.

Problem is though, he has a girlfriend. We haven't done anything like kiss, but there have been numerous times when we have nearly kissed but somethings happened and stopped us. I like him, but don't like knowing he has a girlfriend and need to know how to get out of this situation without hurting anyone.

Please help, I'm really torn.

View related questions: flirt, has a girlfriend, I work with

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (1 April 2008):

Collaroy agony auntHi,

Imagine if you had a boyfriend you loved and you knew a girl was working with him and they were spending a lot of time together and you knew things were getting very friendly - what would you think of this girl?

Now put yourself in the shoes of this guy's girlfriend. What does that make you?

Nothings happened yet, but do you really want to become known as the relationship wrecker? It's a hard tag to get rid off and believe me once it's there everyone starts thinking you are after their boyfriends.

And what type of guy does this to his girlfriend?

Remember the saying; he who leaves another for you, will leave you for another.

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A female reader, Dawnie United Kingdom +, writes (1 April 2008):

Dawnie agony auntWell he probably makes his g/f feel special. Unless he is single you have no right at all to expect anything to happen between the two of you. I may sound harsh but if you allow anything to happen with him you are doing the dirty on her. How would you feel if you were in her shoes? think about it....

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A female reader, x-kitycatlok-x United Kingdom +, writes (1 April 2008):

x-kitycatlok-x agony auntWould you really want to hurt the girl he's with? What if she found out? Would you feel guilty? This isn't meant as a "don't do it. You're stupid" because everyone feels like this about someone who's taken at some point or another.

If he's willing to cheat on his girlfriend with you then he really can't be worth all your worrying, can he? He seems like he's not nice. It's not you who's cheating on someone. It's him. Makes him sound like a horrible person.

Personally, I wouldn't go for it, but if you're confident that you won't feel guilty if you get caught, and you REALLY like this guy enough then go for it. If you're not 95% sure then don't go for it.

Wishing you the best.

xx

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