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anonymous
writes: Where do I find articles, advise and/or books which can help me to understand more about the reasons I tend to always be attracted to just WOMANISERS. I am a sexy (or so I am told) tall intelligent blonde lawyer, always surrounded and admireded by men. However sweet a lot of them may be...I rarely feel any attraction. If I do feel attracted, it turns out, time and again, that the man in question is a complete womaniser. I actualy married one once (and was divorced)- so I should know better by now. Mind you- I am smart enough to not get into a serious relationship with womanizers anymore...but this basically leaves me emptyhanded, as I seem to be incapable of feeling attracted to "normal" men. I would love to find a partner, true love (who doesn´t!) and I am very much aware of the fact that I need to solve this womaniser-issue in my life before I can actually find true love. Please help!
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female
reader, LizzieLowe  +, writes (27 January 2008):
Womanisers are exciting and fun for a while but who wants to be one of many.
My first serious boyfriend was a 'Womaniser'. Deep down I knew that he acted strangely after he'd been out - I wondered quite often where he'd been and what he'd been doing and with whom....the answer I always got was ''I've been with mates for a drink''. This was true in one sense but the whole truth was that he'd been with his mates chatting to women, going back to the women's houses for drinks and whatever else was offered by these sill y women. In hind sight I know that I was 'silly' for putting up with it but they were also silly women for allowing these men to do what they wanted when they'd only just met. I realised the truth when one day my aunt called me and asked sarcastically what my boyfriend was doing out one night outside a pub in Streatham with my brother-in-law and ''two fairies''.....I didn't know what she mean't but then questioned my boyfriend telling him that my brother-in-law had told my sister that he had been ''up to no good''. He immediately split the beans and I was devasted. My brother-in-law hadn't said anything but obviously he didn't realise that. I forgave and we continued to see eachother, even got engaged but other episodes, including a drunken night spent with my sisters best mate led to me walking away and never returning. My boyfriend then spent the next five years waiting for my outside my flat, my families house, my workplace etc crying and pleading for me to come back. He lost two jobs and one of his Colleagues told me that he found my ex-boyfriend crying on the floor of the office toilets on two occasions. I didn't want this to happen but I didn't want a cheating partner either and to be honest he had killed the feelings I had for him and the thought of trying again repulsed me.
I think it's common for alot of guys from teenage years up to say late twenties or early thirties to chase women and want more than one womans attention. Once they know they have the ability to attract the women they are off doing it whenever they get the chance.
I've had relationships with a couple of what I call 'losers' since. My advice to them is simply....if you don't want a relationship with one woman only then don't. Just go out and have a different women everyday/month or be honest with the women and tell them that you are not looking for a serious relationship. It's simple and that way women are warned. I've found that some men have low self esteem...insecurities that stem possibly from childhood....women can have them too but mostly it's the womanisers that are trying to 'big themselves up' by seeking as much attention from women as possible but at the same time, want to have someone 'nice' to go home to. I say play these men at their own game....if you have the time...and the energy....and want to see if you can change them as you can some!!
As for only being attracted to womanisers.....I know exactly what you mean but there are definately alot of nice guys out there and once you get to know the 'nice ones' you can find that they can be just as much if not more exciting than the womanisers but it's more on the quiet/sly!! Be patient and he will come. Positive thinking also works wonders - it is all a state of mind unfortunately but it's not always easy getting into that state of mind...you have to work on that too!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2007): If you are up there in terms of attractivness of the player and just as sexy and good in bed (or better!) then play the players. In fact do what I did and date another major player at the same time and ensure that they find out about each other after a few months when you've had enough of their bullshit, dropped either one or both of them making you the WOMAN the "Ultimate Player" and showing them both up. It works! Dent their egos. An enjoyable experience I assure you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2006): I am in the same situation so totally understand. It is best to have fun and leave on your own terms and never expect them to commit to you as they always have a barrage or women available to them and once you leave they will certainly have a back up plan and one in tow. You make the choice to either be with an exciting maverick or a caring and dedicated man (i.e) normal man. It's a sex thing I assure you just use them as they use you. When you get bored leave em - like they would you if they got bored too. Ever heard of Roy Prinse?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2005): If you think of the what a womaniser says & how they behave on 1st meeting 2nd meeting and during a relationship. They all think that their individuals but they all share the same or similar deceptive traits. As soon as you see these I think it's best to run a mile the only thing you should definately not get into a relationship too quickly otherwise they'll have you obsessed with them. And the best medicine for a womaniser is a maniser. Know what you want in the relationship and stick to your standards.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2005): Hi there, you do sound interesting in the sense that you only fall for womanisers...but it's all in the mind. If you think you are only attracted to womanisers, so it is. The only reason why I think you seem to attracted to these men is because you feel extremely turned on by these men ( assuming that their sex life is wild wild, they have been out with other women so they must be good in bed )It's all in the mental state. Get rid of the fact that only womanisers make good lovers. There are heaps of guys out there, better than womanisers. So good luck to you.
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