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With my boyfriend but want to know more about his friend

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 December 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 December 2014)
A female Hong Kong age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and our relationship is doom now. We argue a lot and I feel unconnected with him anymore. We don't have same interest and seems like being in different opinion on many things. I admit that we both feel comfortable with each other as we've been going in long term relationship and support from both family. He's been planning to marry me next year.

Problem is, sometimes I'm unsure about my feeling for him, about "us". I'm afraid about the decision I made if I marry him. Yes of course he's being kind and caring boyfriend, but honestly I don't really like his life at all. I know I'm stupid to think like this about a man who loves me with all his heart.

Yesterday, we go to our friends family wedding. We met his friends, and there's a guy who sit beside him ( his friend but not best friend ) keep smiling and watching me when I'm not notice. I feel we attracted with each other but we both don't have contact of each other. We just met that night, but I've heard about him before. But I know and I can feel it from the way he looks at me. I really want to get in touch with him without being desperate. I want to know more about him. But I'm still with my bf and its impossible for me to reach a guy first.

Please don't judge me, I just want to know more about him. I thought we have something. But my boyfriend seldom meet them and doesn't hang out with them anymore. How can he contacted me or chance we meet again in group? Please give adviceee...

View related questions: best friend, wedding

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A male reader, CMMP United States + , writes (29 December 2014):

I hope you realize that you're in the beginning stage of cheating. If you don't want to be with your boyfriend break up with him. Be respectful to the man who loves you and treated you well for five years.

Don't date anyone else right away, it give home time to get used to being single and gives you a chance to truly move on. Hopping from one guy to another doesn't.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 December 2014):

Honeypie agony auntEh, I suggest you figure out what you want to do with your BF and relationship, before you "explore" getting to know another guy.

My guess is that you are ALREADY reading WAY more into the "shared" looks, because you are unhappy and miserable in your current situation and hope that THIS guy can be your white knight or EXCITING new beau.

PUT the shoe on the other foot for a few minutes, HOW would you feel if you BF saw a pretty chick at a wedding and the "shared" looks and now he is all excited and want to get to know her? I bet you would NOT like that one bit.

YOU aren't hoping to get to know this guy so you can make "friends", BE honest.

There is no reason for you to "get to know" him WHILE still dating your BF.

If you get SO distracted over a few looks at a wedding, then I think you have already disconnected from your BF.

SO.... it's "shit or get off the pot" time. Either you STAY in your relationship and find a way to work through and fix whatever is NOT working, OR it's time to get out.

Sorry, you can't have you cake, and eat it.

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A female reader, WhenCowsAttack United States +, writes (29 December 2014):

This could make a bad situation very much worse. While I understand your desire, it is not a good idea. At the very least, you MUST end your relationship before pursuing anything, and be prepared for the possibility that he may have loyalty to your soon to be ex.

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