A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:At the end of yet another failed relationship, dating situation, whatever, how do you guys keep yourself from becoming jaded? I've dated quite a few women. Some relationships were great and fun, others were awful. About 2 years ago, I got myself into a terrible dating situation, which destroyed my confidence, and I decided to stay single for awhile. Well, after two years, I finally got the confidence to start dating again. I actually met someone really great. We dated for a couple of months, but, well, let me just say I have a feeling it's coming to an end fairly soon, (it's probably already over in her mind).After all the bullshit, lies, excuses, and horrible behavior, how does anyone even keep up the strength to keep dating? I know we do it so we can hopefully some day meet "the one," but even if you do meet someone you'll end up marrying, that marriage has a 50% chance of divorce! Anyone else feel jaded by all this? and how do you keep yourself from becoming jaded?
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 May 2015):
 I think being a little jaded is a good thing, and I think.. it's unavoidable after a bad relationship. That means you (hopefully) know what to avoid (in terms of types).
One thing you DO have to remember is... THE past is the past. You can't "blame" a NEW person for someone in your pasts behavior. She (new date) should NOT be held responsible for past GF's actions.
When you look at statistics.. you see 50% get divorced... But you could also see it as 50% MAKE it work. Not always in the first try, but it can work. I'm my husband's second wife, he is my first(and last, hopefully) husband.
If you go out there with the NOTION that dating sucks, that is the experience you will get.
Be ready to kiss a few frogs. Don't LOOK for "the One" look for ONE who fits you. She might not be 80% of what you expect, but she might surprise you with the extra 20%.
If you have "gone for" a type before, switch it up.
Get to KNOW the woman, date and outings, don't just rely on texting.
Most of all, TRY and enjoy the process!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2015): Maybe it is the type of woman you chose.Next time go for a woman who is different.It is like girls I know who pick guys with no job then wonder why they are such losers.Change it up pick a different type of person.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (26 May 2015):
 It's normal to feel jaded after a bad relationship. It's okay to take a break and focus on being single for a while. The allure to the mystery of romance, the yearning to connect physically and emotionally to the opposite sex always override our bitter feelings. You see that the 50% divorce rate as a bad thing but it is only in countries with freedom and equality between men and women. It doesn't have to be a bad thing. It means people can let go when something doesn't suit them anymore. They probably had a good relationship and then they grow apart. Life long partnership is of course ideal but when that couldn't happen, people should have the right to part ways amicably too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2015): Hi
Not sure how much help this is going to be, but I concentrate on me. I do what I love, both in work and play. I go dancing whenever I am able and if I want to, I can go seven nights a week. I go on my own, I've got to know many people over the years and I constantly meet new ones and I have fun! I don't look for anything or anyone. If I meet someone along the way, I go for it. If it doesn't work out, I still have the life I love.
Prepare a base for your life. One that you love. You will always have it to go to. What makes YOU happy, makes you feel alive? Romance that. Anything else is a bonus. Also, of course, if you are happy, you are sooo attractive!
Good luck!
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