A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My father used to physically abuse me all the time when I was a child, and my mother and older siblings (I'm the youngest) used to back him up in this, emotionally abusing me and telling me that I deserved it. My father was also on the verge of sexually abusing me, but thank God he was arrested for a different crime before then. He got out of prison, though, and my family welcomed him back.Recently, my parents divorced and it was so messy that they won't even talk to each other again. However, the side of my family I am still in contact with (my mother and siblings) still emotionally abuse me, try to control me (every time I see my older sister, she has something awful to say to me - for example, I'm looking for a part-time second job and she keeps on trying to put me down regarding that and say I am only good for minimum wage jobs) and be in charge of everything I do. Even if I joke about something like having a boyfriend, or I wear a knee-length dress at home, my sister will half-shout at me (she is extremely controlling) and basically try her hardest to bully me into doing exactly what she wants. My mum/brother will back her up in this though they aren't quite as bad. They do not respect my independence as a person and No never means No to them. I have suffered from severe depression (which I haven't told them about) and mental issues as a result of my family's treatment, but even when they can see that I am upset by it they don't care. It is all about them.I have had enough. I'm not in a financial position to say goodbye to my family just yet, but I will be in a few months. At that point, should I cut them off? Sure, my family has done stuff for me, but I feel like providing a roof over someone's head and food is not justification for allowing them to treat you like crap.
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female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (20 August 2014):
 I don't think you need to cut them off entirely, but I do suggest you limit your contact with them to special occasions, for the time being anyway.
You know what they say about familiarity breeding contempt. Keep your visits or conversations a bit more formal, but friendly and don't discuss personal things with them.
Life is short and it would be a shame to completely end relationships with family that could be rehabilitated.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (20 August 2014):
 There is no crime in not surrounding yourself with folks who hurt you either physically or mentally or emotionally.
Once you are independent of them I see no need to have any contact.
We can't choose who we are RELATED to but we can MAKE our own family. FIND friends who become your family.
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A
female
reader, Lolly_Poll +, writes (20 August 2014):
My family abuse me mentally and emotionally for all of my life. My parents and siblings were all a part of this. Eventually, when I turned 18 I relised I'd had enough, and deserved to be treated better than that. So I moved out, changed my phone number and haven't looked back. That was almost 3 years ago, and I've never been so happy. Sometimes you have to let go of the people causing you pain, in order to give yourself a future. Only you will know if it is time to cut them out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2014): I feel so sorry fo you dear. This is the reason why i love to give advice here. Sometimes i thought my problems are unbearable then i read yours. Or someone else. I realized i am selfish.
Honey what you need to do is to keep on praying. Hold on.just tell to yourself all this bullying will soon end.
Save money, get your own place. You dont deserve to be treated badly everyday. Don't keep a record of the bad thing your family have done to u.
I suggest you still keep love in your heart for them. Focus how to make your life better.
Be good. Never let your bad experience make you feel your not good enough or your nothing. Make it as an inspiration to better yourself.
Trust God with all of your heart.
Thats the secret i have that i can share with you.
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