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Will this man leave me alone now?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 September 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 30 September 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *hanib writes:

Dear Cupid

My brother in law recently tried match making me with a single friend of his! This guy started messaging me and things began to flow.

He started off pleasant enough but the messages soon started to turn very flirtatious!

He knew of me as I'd dated a friend of his about 12 yrs ago.

So he knew where I was living etc

He started messaging me one night and knew I had a a few wines.

The next thing I know he has turned up near my home wanting to see me! I have a grown up son and younger ones tucked up in bed so I was anxious about this guy turning up!

At the time I didn't know if to be flattered or insulted!

We had a snog but it was clear he wanted things to go further!

I wasn't prepared to do this as it's not my style and eventually he left! I asked him if he wanted to meet at the weekend instead and he said yes!

Since then I've had no contact from him at all!

Obviously I'm not chasing this guy and feel disappointed he thought id be so easy!

So I'm guessing he was chancing his luck and didn't get any!

I am have been single 15 mths now and whilst I miss the physical side I don't want to be someone's easy option!

So since I didn't actually do the deed with this guy is he likely to think I led him on, will he reject me now?

View related questions: flirt

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (30 September 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI agree... he was hoping you were easy and would be his "go to girl" when horny.

He's already made it clear he rejects you as a person but would accept you as a handy warm wet breathing masturbation tool.

live and learn.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (30 September 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI think the guy was HOPING you were on the easy side. I don't think he was looking for a relationship. After all he pulled a "booty call" on you.

And the conversation turned "flirtatious" really quick, so he didn't REALLY bother getting to KNOW you.

Did you lead him on? I don't see how you did that. Did you tell him that if he showed up at your door you would jump his bones?

Next time if a guy shows up LATE unannounced at your house, tell them to give you a call. You DO NOT have to invite them in.

Sorry, I'd toss this one back in the pond. I don't think he is BF material.

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A female reader, RubyBirtle United Kingdom +, writes (30 September 2014):

I'm not sure from you post whether you want to see this guy again or not. The title makes it seem like you WANT him to leave you alone but your closing comments sound more like you DO want to see him again?

I, personally, can see Red Flags

1) This guy clearly wants sex (he MAY ultimately want a relationship as well but you don't know this yet.) he certainly wants so rush to the sex part with flirtatious text messages and impromptu visits where he wants things to get physical so quickly. Guys who rush straight to the "home visits" stage of a relationship rather than dating first are usually looking for sex not romance.

2) The arrogance of someone who can just turn up on someone's door-step and expect to be let in gladly and have a woman he's not even in a relationship with yet give him a kiss and cuddle (and possibly more)! It smacks of someone who is potentially manipulative and controlling. It might seem to you that he's fun and spontaneous but it really is arrogant

3) You don't really know this guy yet aside from texts.

Sounds like you should stay away.

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