A
male
age
36-40,
*tsfn
writes:My ex girlfriend and I broke up back in September. She broke up with me because she was feeling like she wanted to see other people. I was the best boyfriend she had and she loves me so much, but she is so upset because she has these feelings. So we ended things. After a little bit she wanted me back and this has happened about 3 times... Then after a bit it's almost like I'm just there for her to have sex with me. I got mad and displayed this to her and she flipped out and said that we can't talk ever again. I called and texted, but she wouldn't even answer or pick up.After a month my friends set me up on a date. The girl is great and we quickly became girlfriend and boyfriend.. I called my ex and told her (I know it was a huge mistake). She got all mad and said she hates me. Then days later she calls and begs me back for days and I said I can’t, that I have to deal with things first and I wasn’t sure if I could believe her…so she stopped.After a bit I break up with this new girl because I wasn’t feeling it for her and missed my ex. So I called her and she picks up and I said I want to get back. She said no we can only start again, but when I say so and that I need to suffer for what I did.. I was mad because I did suffer a lot from her. She was going to go on a date with some guy while we were "sex friends" I guess but she never wanted to call it that. He never showed up and again I was there for her. She kissed a guy at a bar because I said I was going to go out and again this is while we were "sex friends", so I told her I can’t do this if she is going to act so mean. So she told me to stop fucking with her head and never talk to her again.I know I did some mean things (I mean I even went into another relationship that didn’t last because I had a hole in my heart), but she has done far worse and still won’t talk to me or answer my text. I try to convey how sorry I am and that I just want to settle things and not to hate each other. My question is, will she ever forgive me and talk to me? It’s only been two months, should I give her time?
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male
reader, mtsfn +, writes (8 February 2011):
mtsfn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thank all of you for your advice. Im trying very hard to move and ill see what happens from here. Oh and to the female reader, You talk about my ex as a guy lol she a girl. its ok thought I still got the point and very much appreciate it. Its funny because she told me the first day we met, that she a very good liar because she lied to her mom about where she was. I probably should have seen it from there.
A
male
reader, mtsfn +, writes (8 February 2011):
mtsfn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd I just want to clear up since I didn't qoute her originally, she said I was the best boyfriend she ever had and I believe it because I did treat er very well. I know I did stupid things out of jealousy and just being hurt. And se didn't date the guy(although it hurts the same) she never even went on a date because he blew her off.. And she did feel bad all the time. She cried a lot, but hey that could be great acting. She was also crazy jealous and controling she didn't want me to go out cuz I might cheat on her and she would ask if there were any hot girls in my classes and be mad if I said yes. But honestly maybe se didn't love me, she told me a lot that she did but I guess ill never know.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (8 February 2011):
 She broke up with you (repeatedly), got you to make love to her but never with any commitment on her end, dated another guy without feeling bad about it, only wanted you back when you were taken (asking you to dump your girlfriend for her), and yet won't date you now because you need to suffer for some reason? What makes you think she'd ever commit to you or sacrifice for you? You've never been anything but an ego boost for her. She wants you to want her, but she's not able to truly love you.
If you want a mutual, loving, mature, stable relationship, this girl is not the one.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): My ex did the same thing to me. It was an emotional f*ck for me. He was the one who broke it off yet he punished and tormented me because I started seeing a man so I could try to move on. I didn't want to date, and he knew this but he made it a point to repeatedly tell me he didn't want me and he would ignore me for months on end. Eventually, I gave up on him and the longer he refused to acknowledge me the more space I had to objectively see the situation and his personality for what it really was. He was emotionally abusive man, and although I knew it when we were dating I wasn't able to accept it and completely walk away from it until that long period when he ignored me because I gave him what he asked for, which was to move on. My ex has tried to rekindle a relationship with me. He pushed me too far this last time around. He will never have the opportunity to abuse me again nor blame me for the repercussions of his decision. He gets no 11th chance. Your ex sounds just like my ex. He's sick. Cut all contact with him. He's a master of manipulation and games and anything and everything that goes wrong in your relationship with him because of his decisions and actions will always be blamed on you and his twisted sickness will lead him to punish and torment only you for it. Pardon me, but f*ck him. Stay away from him. He's bad news, trouble. Nothing good will come by wanting or keeping him around. He's a twisted controlling abusive manipulative idiot. Walk away and never look back.
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (8 February 2011):
You could probably give her as much time as you want, but I don't think she's got over the original break up - even though it was her that wanted it.
And what has happened since, like you getting another girlfriend has hit her hard and she's trying to hurt you by doing things with blokes.
To be perfectly honest, I think you're better off moving on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): Hey Bud
I'd say move on its not worth the emontial rollercoaster she sounds like she is just using u for sex and if u are as good as u say u are then u deserve better!! She doesn't want you but she doesn't want anyone else to have you either and thats not right!! So move on and find someone new that will treat you right we all make mistakes and some should not be repeated if you know what I mean!! GOOD LUCK
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