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Will my intense questioning drive him away?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Faded love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 July 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 24 July 2010)
A female Canada age 30-35, *ver..worried. writes:

Sometimes I think to much, I over worry and feel the need to ask my boyfriend a question about what I am thinking of. I am quite scared that he is going to end up finding this annoying but I don't know how to stop. Like right now I just watch the movie Valentines Day. Now I want to know if he likes even the annoying flaws I have. It's actually bothering me that he might not. How can I stop worrying so much and have the feeling that I need him to tell me.

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A female reader, blue_eyes1981 United Kingdom +, writes (24 July 2010):

blue_eyes1981 agony auntIn a word - yes.

I'm guilty of doing this very same thing myself and was told only the other week that I was a "self fulfilling prophecy".

Clearly you have insecurities within relationships and that manifests itself in all sorts of ways with you (and me too ) it is constant questioning and worrying.

I myself am only learning now that I need to stop doing it. I really hope you can get through this and relax more your boyfriend will think much better of you and you will both enjoy the relationship much more. x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010):

Yes, it will. By questioning him constantly about how he feels, it shows him a lack of trust, where most people would just go with the flow and let themselves go. Of course a few questions here and there, depending how stupid they are or not, is quite fine, but if you can't contain it and even stare at him all the time like you want to ask him questions, and you go for supper and he doesn't have time to chew, I guarantee he won't stick around more than a few months. That's a huge turn off.

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