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Will my boyfriend stay in jail because he pushed me?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 September 2007) 7 Answers - (Newest, 11 September 2007)
A female United States age 36-40, *taunton5410 writes:

Can anyone please tell me what happends when someone gets in trouble for a domestic disturbance. My boyfriend was put in jail for three days because he pushed me during a fight and my roomate saw and called the police. I do not want to get him in trouble because I know that after being in jail for 3 days and getting harrassed by other men he will never do that again. Today he has to go to court but no one has told me that I have to. I just want to know what will happen to him. Will he have to go back to jail? Will there be a restraining order placed? what can I do to stop him from getting in the least possible trouble? The police told me that it is out of my hands now even though I am the victim, and it is all up to the city. Dont I have a say in what happends to him? Please someone help me if you know anything about this. I am so depressed because what he has gone through. I think that this was too much stuff to happen because he pushed me. Does anyone know what the process will be today in court? Please help!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007):

Why don't you get some practical advice on how to balance out the statement that will have been made about him and the 'sentence' - i.e. perhaps going into the police station if your conscience is pricking at you. I am not sure if the trust between you is already ruined as you clearly have no respect for him and it seems a little unfair if you were both violent for just him to get done for it.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (11 September 2007):

eddie agony auntAlso, I hope the other aunts are prepared to eat their words now and state that he was only acting in self defence.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (11 September 2007):

eddie agony auntWell, if this is true, you verified exactly what I was getting at. I hope this is a real posting. If most of the time you slap the back of his head, you should be in jail too. You're not though and he looks like he's a serial wife beater. I do believe that many times men end up getting the brunt of the law and it's full force when they do something like this. Many times women get off easier or the men never even call the police.

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A female reader, jtaunton5410 United States +, writes (11 September 2007):

jtaunton5410 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

jtaunton5410 agony auntEddie,

What do you mean men always loose? are you saying that something really bad is going to happen to him? Most of the time I am starting the fights by pushing him and slapping the back of his head. Most of the time he doesnt even defend him self but this time I guess he thought I was gonna hit him so he pushed me away. I think that he got worse of a punishment then what he deserved. Please just tell me what you think is going to happen here. What will the whole court process and aftermath be? Please help I am desperate for any information.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (11 September 2007):

eddie agony auntNobody should ever push another person, or hit them for that matter. I'd like to know the dynamics of the fight though before I pass judgment. Men ALWAYS lose in these cases.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007):

Why are you so worried about what happens to him? He used some violence by pushing you during a fight - even if he only shoved you a little, doesn't matter.

You DON'T know that he will "never do that again." How do you know he isn't so teed off at going to jail that he won't be worse when he is released. Short answer: you don't.

You would be well advised to think very seriously about ending this relationship.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007):

He pushed you! I bet it was bad enough for your neighbour to call the police and the cops to take it so serously. I'm not going to help an weak pathetic woman like you, he desrves to be taught a lesson.

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