A
male
age
51-59,
*rgan Donor
writes:My wife of 20 years and I recently separated because of problems over intimacy and mutual supportiveness. Having put up with this for a long time I finally started an affair with someone else and once my wife found out I was sent packing, six months ago.She now decides she loves me after all and wants me back. I am willing to consider it because I always loved her, but there is one major love-making problem I have and that is with sex sharing.She never did fellatio on me and I guess found the idea digusting. I was clear with her that I would like it (she was happy for me to make her come with cunnilingus, but not happy to reciprocate). Now the woman I am with loves to give me fellatio, and it makes me feel really cherished.If I go back to my wife and family of 4, will I gradually build up resentment and end up wandering again, now that I know what is possible? Should I stay with the woman who gives me the greatest sexual pleasure, whom I also love?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): I cannot believe you could consider throwing away a second chance with your wife and 4 children over fellatio. WHAT? My response is.... don't go back to her. If you think so little of your relationship that something that is down to personal preference (like sugar in your coffee)would break you then you don't have even the foundations upon which to try.
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies  +, writes (18 April 2010):
 I think you need to be honest about it. You cant go back to a relationship where you'll know that there's something missing.and since that something is important to you,you need to do something about it.Now I know it sounds "cruel" to tell a woman " I want fellatio from you". BTw....since you claim you love the woman you're with now,plus you guys have great sex,why would you wanna go back to your wife?Just because she's your wife?youve already put up with all these problems for a long time and now u got urself a nice woman who loves you and gives u great sex.sometimes its better to move on...u can't have ur cake and eat it too.you need to think about ur decision because ur gonna hurt people. Just go with ur instict.Yes u loved ur wife and u been through alot with her but people change and times are different.what was good for u in ur 20ies might not be good in ur 40ies.
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A
female
reader, Polaroid93 +, writes (18 April 2010):
Tell your "wife" that you need intimacy and that you no it's no excuse but she needs to know the same will happen again if things don't change
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