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Will he realise he's losing me?

Tagged as: Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 December 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 December 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi...

I have been in a long distance relationship for 2years and I love my guy so much that I would love to have a future with him. After 2 years I asked him if there was a future but he said we need to know each other more.

How can he possibly know me more when we spend only 4 days a month together. What I know of him i am in love with. That made me feel like he doesn't want to and I dont want to be wasting time with this guy if we have no future together. Whats the point in communicating so I have not called him since. He has been calling me every other day. Dont know what to do. I don't want to lose him. I just want us to get engaged now and plan our future. If not its next..

Do you think he will realize he is losing me because I dont call and decide to get engaged? He cares a lot for me but doesnt want that right now.

View related questions: engaged, long distance

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2007):

I know this may seem harsh and i dont mean it to at all, but...you can't make this guy want to marry you and even if ignoring him does work and he decides maybe he does want that, do u really want the proposal to be based on you technically playing games in order to get him there! People don't need to be married to proove commitment. Do you thinkmaybe getting married is more important than just being with him? I know that your probably just insecure that maybe this isnt going anyway because ive been there before and just felt like i needed some sign to proove that my future lay with the one person i want it too. Honestly, maybe you just need to trust this man that he may well want a future with u, but the timing may not be right and enjoy the build up you could have till the time is right. Or if you are desperate to settle down and what this man can offer you right now isnt making u happy and isnt good enough (because u should put ur happiness first!) then maybe he just isnt the one, regardless of whether he realises what he had when he's lost it. I think you my just need to sit down and review your relationship, why getting enaged is so important to you right now and if this man is truely the one for you, because if he is, distance should not be a probelm! Goodluck xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007):

hey..i understand where your coming from..2 years is pretty long..i want to get engaged too (3 years)..but i think youre going about it the wrong way, by ignoring him..he wont click on that its because of an engagement, although it will make him wonder why you aint answering, you wudnt like it if he didnt answer your calls right?!...its unfair and mean...i suggest...you sit down wid him, and tell him how you feel...how can you get to know each other more...that you want to fully commit...that you love him...see what he says..engagements and wedding talk shudnt be upsetting ...it shud be happy and comfortable...if..he doesnt agree..then insted of ignoring him and makin him wonder why you aint answering..you need to sit down and think long and hard about what you want..what makes you happy...is this the relationship you want..are you able to wait...if you love him can you let go of him and one day see him with someone else...i also suggest that you should ask him to meet halfway...a long engagement..see how things go?!...maybe get married a year or 2 later.. 5 even!..good luck girl!..god bless x x keep us posted x

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