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age
30-35,
writes: I have been sex texting (quite explicit) a guy and sent him a raunchy picture of myself. He is taking me out for dinner next week. Do you think he will be expecting me to sleep with him as I've sent him these raunchy messages? I have already been ou with a few times before but only ever kissed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): Well, yes! Frankly! You're not going to send him pictures like that and then go out and act all sweet and innocent are you? And like 'Flynn 24' says, if you're going to do that, then you better be prepared to follow through with the 'consequences', if you like.
A
male
reader, Man Enough  +, writes (3 May 2008):
It all depends... you havent said whether he has been sending back 'suggestive' text messages to you. Anyhow, at the rate at which you have gone with this then you can be sure he will expect to sleep with you. What did you want to achieve after you sent him such a 'naked' picture of yourself? You have led him on...
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female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (2 May 2008):
 Before I dated my boyfriend, we use to send saucy messages (nothing too risque lol) and I made it absolutely CRYSTAL CLEAR that I would sleep with him when I am good and ready. Suffice to say we have been together for seven months. But I don't think you should have sent him raunchy pics of your body, because it spoils the surprise if you guys did get intimate plus you are sending him wrong message.
If this guy respects you then he will wait, if not then he ain't for you.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (2 May 2008):
 Well, what was the point of sending him a RAUNCHY naked picture of yourself? Because you wanted him to court you? Take you to the movies, hold your hand in the park, or as an invitation to get to know you as a person who requires an investment in her emotions, sensitivity to her needs, and overall care and respect as a woman?
Poster, we train others how to treat us and what to expect from us by what we give them and what we allow. You know the answer to this question.
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (2 May 2008):
 He'll certainly be hoping you will sleep with him. If you aren't likely to want to do that, then you HAVE to tell him that before you meet him. He'll probably still be hoping, but if you have made it clear it's not going to happen then he knows where he stands.
Of course, telling him "no" in advance doesn't mean that you can't, if you should happen to change your mind when you meet him! It simply keeps your options open.
... and if he's a gentleman, one of the good guys out there, he'll pretend to be very shocked and say "of course I never expected you to sleep with me" trying very hard to cover up an expression of deep disappointment.
And don't worry too much about behaving like an adolescent. You were, but many of us have been there and realised later how immature our behaviour might have appeared. It's all right; you're not alone.
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A
female
reader, Kimaxsi +, writes (2 May 2008):
I forgot to say.If he's ever made you feel pressured, like if he pressured you into sending that sexy picture or into texting sex or whatever don't go out with him and end it.If you do go out with him and don't want to have sex keep the date public.And if he calls you a slut or tease or whatever and is really mean after what you tell him then end it. He may be a bit upset/confused but if he's a good guy he's not going to start cussing at you and calling you names and making you feel like shit.
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A
female
reader, Kimaxsi +, writes (2 May 2008):
I assume since the initial dates your texts have become more sexual and explicit? If I were you before you meet up tell him that your not ready to have sex with him in real life yet, and if he was expecting that its not going to happen, so if you've led him on with texting and with the raunchy photo you apologize. Tell him what you do want and what type of pace you'd like to take in the relationship, particularly if you really want to go slow. Tell him before the date though, and be confident. He may chose not to go out with you if he was just looking to get laid but it sounds like you don't want just that type of relationship anyways. He didn't do anything to you that was inappropriate on your previous dates or make you feel pressured right? If he did then you probably want to reconsider this dinner altogether but its sounds like that wasn't the case. Obviously you are attracted to him, just be really honest so he knows what the deal is, he may want to know why if you don't want sex you were texting him such steamy messages, so be prepared to answer that honestly too. Don't let him pressure you into something you're not ready for though and he may use what you've already done to get you to do more ya know by applying guilt tactics or whatever, just be strong and true to yourself.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 + ♥, writes (2 May 2008):
 I'm with Tellulah on this one. He will very likely be expecting you to fulfill the implicit promise in those text messages, unless you'd clearly stated that you were only joking. But the raunchy picture kind of seals it, I think. Why are you sex texting him? If you don't want a sexual relationship yet, then you're being naive to think you haven't planted those thoughts in his head.
If you're really concerned about this, you're going to have to tell him what you're really meaning, and stop teasing him! This sounds a bit adolescent to me, sorry to be blunt, but are you really in your 30s?
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH + ♥, writes (2 May 2008):
 What do you think!!! of course he will be expecting it. You have given him the signal that you are up for it by sending him pictures and messages. If you were young and not old enough to know better, I would think you were just a bit naive. But your post says you are 30-35, so whats that all about?
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A
female
reader, lexilou + ♥, writes (2 May 2008):
 Possibly but it doesnt mean you have to. He may be a gentleman about it and be fine if your not ready yet, its easier to be raunchier texting than face to face in a new relationship and he will probably understand that too x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): Possibly. You sound like you've been giving out the signals men normally associate with up and coming sex.
We men hate being teased like that, so with us if you are gonna sex chat and send raunchy pictures to us then you better be prepared to follow through.
Flynn 24
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