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Will he expect me to sleep with him? We've been sex texting and I sent him a raunchy picture of myself...

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Question - (2 May 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 5 May 2008)
A age 41-50, * writes:

I have been sex texting (quite explicit) a guy and sent him a raunchy picture of myself. He is taking me out for dinner next week. Do you think he will be expecting me to sleep with him as I've sent him these raunchy messages? I have already been ou with a few times before but only ever kissed.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008):

Well, yes! Frankly! You're not going to send him pictures like that and then go out and act all sweet and innocent are you? And like 'Flynn 24' says, if you're going to do that, then you better be prepared to follow through with the 'consequences', if you like.

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A male reader, Man Enough Kenya +, writes (3 May 2008):

It all depends... you havent said whether he has been sending back 'suggestive' text messages to you. Anyhow, at the rate at which you have gone with this then you can be sure he will expect to sleep with you. What did you want to achieve after you sent him such a 'naked' picture of yourself? You have led him on...

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A female reader, duskyrowe United Kingdom +, writes (2 May 2008):

duskyrowe agony auntBefore I dated my boyfriend, we use to send saucy messages (nothing too risque lol) and I made it absolutely CRYSTAL CLEAR that I would sleep with him when I am good and ready. Suffice to say we have been together for seven months. But I don't think you should have sent him raunchy pics of your body, because it spoils the surprise if you guys did get intimate plus you are sending him wrong message.

If this guy respects you then he will wait, if not then he ain't for you.

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A female reader, Susan Strict United Kingdom +, writes (2 May 2008):

Susan Strict agony auntHe'll certainly be hoping you will sleep with him. If you aren't likely to want to do that, then you HAVE to tell him that before you meet him. He'll probably still be hoping, but if you have made it clear it's not going to happen then he knows where he stands.

Of course, telling him "no" in advance doesn't mean that you can't, if you should happen to change your mind when you meet him! It simply keeps your options open.

... and if he's a gentleman, one of the good guys out there, he'll pretend to be very shocked and say "of course I never expected you to sleep with me" trying very hard to cover up an expression of deep disappointment.

And don't worry too much about behaving like an adolescent. You were, but many of us have been there and realised later how immature our behaviour might have appeared. It's all right; you're not alone.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (2 May 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntI'm with Tellulah on this one. He will very likely be expecting you to fulfill the implicit promise in those text messages, unless you'd clearly stated that you were only joking. But the raunchy picture kind of seals it, I think. Why are you sex texting him? If you don't want a sexual relationship yet, then you're being naive to think you haven't planted those thoughts in his head.

If you're really concerned about this, you're going to have to tell him what you're really meaning, and stop teasing him! This sounds a bit adolescent to me, sorry to be blunt, but are you really in your 30s?

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (2 May 2008):

TELLULAH agony auntWhat do you think!!! of course he will be expecting it. You have given him the signal that you are up for it by sending him pictures and messages. If you were young and not old enough to know better, I would think you were just a bit naive. But your post says you are 30-35, so whats that all about?

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A female reader, lexilou United Kingdom +, writes (2 May 2008):

lexilou agony auntPossibly but it doesnt mean you have to. He may be a gentleman about it and be fine if your not ready yet, its easier to be raunchier texting than face to face in a new relationship and he will probably understand that too x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008):

Possibly. You sound like you've been giving out the signals men normally associate with up and coming sex.

We men hate being teased like that, so with us if you are gonna sex chat and send raunchy pictures to us then you better be prepared to follow through.

Flynn 24

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