A
female
age
18-21,
laurenzee
writes:My ex boyfriend and I are 20 and were together for 2 years, we were at school togther and i met him when i was 16. I was so happy with him and i thought he was with me, we were serious, had been on holiday with each others families, met all each others familes, evrything. We had been through quite alot in the past which we always said had made us stronger. Right up until the last minute he said he loved me and i felt the same, we had talked about mariage and a family and i had never wanted something so much in my life, and i thought i meant something to him. I then found out he had started seeing a 16 year old girl, he denies it saying they were just friends but he bought her a rose for valentines day and was texting her and saying he wanted to levae me for her.he has broken my heart and its been 3 months since this happened and i still miss him every day so much, i thought we were made for each other. Will he ever just turn round and relaise what a mistake he has made, becuas at the moment he refuses to talk to me even though all of this was down to him. Im still in contact with his family becuase they didnt want to lose contact with me. Could i forgive him if he did come back, more importantly coud i trust him? id give naything to have him back, im still in love with him.
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male
reader, a_decent_1  +, writes (26 May 2008):
Hey laurenzee,
Look, you need to understand that it's a Very common story with the people who fall in love at 16. At that age, we don't really know what we want.. Since u r 20 now, you would understand what i mean.. In almost every other relationship "Once" something like this does occur..
You should forgive him this is his First mistake in 4 years (I assume).. I am "not" defending him, What he did is Wrong.. But, I think he deserves another chance if he does come back.. !! Guys at 20 can be "VERY HARD" to handle.. Only a man with Very Sound Character can avoid having feelings for any other girl... Most of them faulter at this age.. !!
For now, i think you should talk to him as to how you got to know about everything.. Make him understand that You have Dreamt about being together forever... Tell him You're okay with this mistake and ask him not to repeat it in future.. !!
Remember, "If you love someone, just let him go. If he comes Back, He's yourz...."
A
female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (26 May 2008):
 Hi there, Life throws us curves, at times and we then have to make the best of it. You really cared for your boyfriend and you sound like, you still do. But just because we have a number, as our chronilogical age, does not mean that we are mature. Your boyfriend wanted to still do childish things, as in date a person, who could get him into world's of trouble, because she is underage, and he is considered an adult. Think about that, he could be charged with a crime, if that is the girls true age. We are talking serious stuff here. You may love him, but a lot of times, that is not enough, please don't sit there pining over this man, eventually he will probably realize his lack of judgement, maybe. If he does, you want to be waiting to take him back, what will you have? What other mistakes in judgement will he make, maybe none. But if you take him back, there are human nature facts that take over, for one he will not want to feel beholden to you for accepting him back in spite of what he did, because he feels it was wrong, why don't you? What does that say about your sense of self-esteem, this episode changes a lot of things. Perhaps you might want to talk to a relationship counselor about your feelings. Then there's the trust factor, once a person betrays your trust, it is very hard to regain it, and you are always thinking about, what happened before and will it happen again, takes more than a lot of rebuilding to stabilze the relationship. If you get back together, he is always going to feel that guilt, for what he did, this is very tricky. A complete break with this situation, and counting it all, as a life experience, that you won't have to go through again, would probably be best in the long run. People have to be equally committed in a relationship, to withstand all of the temptations that come along everyday, if that commitment is not there on both sides, then the result is a breakdown in the relationship, in one form or another. Count yourself lucky, suppose you had been married and he did this, people are human, but some are more susceptible to temptation than others, doesn't make them bad, just weak. Be happy, that he was your boyfriend and not your husband. Travel on, for your peace of mind. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Emivia  + ♥, writes (26 May 2008):
 That's so sad. I hope you'll be ok. Give yourself time to get over him. He cheated on you and lied to you. I don't think that you would ever be able to completely trust him again. You'd find yourself asking "Is he seeing her again?" "Is he seeing someone else?" and it wuld be perfectly natural to do so.
I think you deserve so much better. I know you hurting now, but with time will you begin to see that you are better off without him. It is nice that his family wanted to stay in touch and it shows you how nice you are compared to him. But if you think that cutting ties with them would make it easier to get over him then you should, they would understand, you could always begin talking to them again when you felt it was right.
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