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Will he contact me?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 July 2017) 17 Answers - (Newest, 31 July 2017)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

So I've been dating a guy for 6+ months. We told each other that we love one another. He has asked me to invite him over for dinner. Well the day came and he never showed up. I texted him and no response. I called him and he hung up. The next day he went off on me about the text I sent the day before and basically said I'm disrespectful. So I texted him saying I apologize sincerely if I hurt his feelings. No response.…

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (31 July 2017):

Honeypie agony auntGood for you OP!

Learn from this. TRUST a person for their actions and deeds not just for what they say and promise.

It will get better. And you WILL (hopefully) stop beating yourself up.

Better luck next time!

Chin up - enjoy life!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2017):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

So is been more than a week no contact....Honestly at first I was hurt.. not eating, constant thinking of him and crying my eyes out over what it could have been... oh and the blame game (blaming me).... now I feel a lot better about things... he hasn't got the shorts back I've actually donated them... and I feel a lot better about the situation because honestly if he "loved" me.. he would come for me not vice versa and I had to realize this... on to better things and time to put the focus on my goals

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (27 July 2017):

Honeypie agony auntNope, he doesn't need the shorts at all...

All you can do now OP, is learn from this. People can say "I love you" and still be a dick.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (27 July 2017):

N91 agony auntI'm sure he can replace the shorts.

He's showing exactly why you're doing the right thing in moving on.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2017):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yea I blocked his mumber and for his contact name I put a big red X. He texted me again and said don't ever f***ing talk to me again we are done! So I'm debating if he even needs those clothes

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 July 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI would just put his shorts in a bag and hang it on his door.

After that? I'd simply block his number and then delete it. There is no point in trying to figure him out. You are seeing a bit more of what kind of guy he is. Not really getting "better" looking (behavior wise) is he?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2017):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

So he messages me today out the blue and says I'm giving you want you want first..... wtf does that even mean? sounds like hes playing games so I asked him what it meant and he goes silent.... no time for games...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2017):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

ok..this guy is confusing...just wen I think were done he comes back... so he texts me yesterday and says I'm working on giving you what you want first...so what does that mean??? I don't have time for games and he doesn't either but obviously hes playing a game with me... I'm done texting him... when Monday comes I'm going to let him know I have his shorts in my car and I will drop them off bc idk what he wants to do...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2017):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

UPDATE-Number is booked and I'm moving on. Bettering myself and start Grad School in August. I know my worth n he's not it

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2017):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yes @HoneyPie I called him out. I have to realize that even tho it hurt he's not worth it and there's something way better coming my way.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (24 July 2017):

Honeypie agony auntSo you basically called him out on suggesting that you invite him over and cook for him and when the day came he just ignored the pre-arranged date? Am I getting it right?

So instead of him calling and canceling he just disappeared for the day? And when you (in a tad passive-aggressive manner) called him out on it, he went off on you.

Honestly, there is no LOVE here. There seems to be miscommunications and misunderstandings and... lack of respect.

I would let this guy go and move on. NEXT time you meet a guy CALL him before you start cooking to make sure he is going to know. That he either didn't forget or just isn't going to show.

And OP... If you get UPSET at a partner's actions DON'T try and "deal" with it over text. And don't try and second guess a partner.

I mean WHAT was he REALLY supposed to answer to your text? (While I find him hanging up and blowing up childish I wouldn't like for someone to accuse me of taking advantage off them... ) If he WAS just taking advantage do you think he would have told you?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2017):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I texted him I hope your not taking advantage of me. This was your idea and I don't want to be in a one sided relationship where I'm doing everything and you nothing.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (24 July 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntThat word "disrespectful" always fills me with dread when used in this sort of context. It is like he is DEMANDING you tiptoe around him and don't question anything he does.

I worked with a colleague whose fiance used to angrily accuse her of being "disrespectful" whenever she asked him to do something he didn't want to do or questioned something he had done/said. She went ahead and married him regardless. Guess what? The accusations of "disrespect" now get backed up physically.

Sweetheart, you don't "love" him. You don't know the REAL him. This is just one side of him you didn't know existed until now.

In your shoes I would step right back and ask yourself if this is how you want to spend the next years of your life. I know what MY answer would be.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (24 July 2017):

N91 agony auntYou never told us what you said in the text so it's a little hard to gauge whether his response was out of order or not.

Sounds to me though like this guy is a dead end, not sure how you can ignore someone that you're in love with. Take his silence as the end of the road, block, delete, move on.

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (24 July 2017):

Dionee' agony auntHonestly, I think that maybe it's best to forget this guy.

I can't imagine what you could have said to him to upset him but I think that was a red flag! I think it was rude of him not to show up because it was his idea to begin with and also, if he can get that upset by a text, imagine all the other little things that would upset him?

He seems like he is a bit on the manipulative side because he pinned everything on you instead of just apologising for not showing up... I'd say, you dodged a bullet. Take it as a sign that this guy isn't for you. It was too early on for him to show such horrible colours because the honeymoon phase shouldn't be over yet.

Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2017):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ok the text stated "I really hope your not taking advantage of me or trying to play me bc this was your idea" when I called he said your lucky I'm answering the phone after that text and he hung up. He then proceeded to call me abusive the next day.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (24 July 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI'd say no.

If he got his boxers in a twist over some text (you didn't mention WHAT you said so I can't say if he totally overreacted or not...) I wouldn't hold my breath that this is going to work out.

Quite honestly? Seemed like he used that text as a way to dump you. Because he wanted out. Sorry.

I can't see any other reason for him being THAT rude over a text. and I certainly would not want to date someone who hangs up on me and who throws a verbal fit over 1 text...

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