A
female
age
36-40,
*lexia846
writes:So I have met this guy through one of my coworkers a year and a half ago and we went out for drinks and he quoted ur "beautiful" and I said thank you and didnt make a move since he had a gf and obviously he lives in New York and I live in Boston. since then he has texted me every three months just being like hey what's up you should come down since we share that mutual friend that moved down there. For fourth I July he asked me to go down and I said no I was busy and then two days later I see he was back in a relationship with his girlfriend. since I have been talkin to him he has had a girlfriend but I don't know if they have broken up or not or how many times so obviously I consider it cheating if ur texting me and if u are with ur girl but I don't know that for sure. I also know that when I met him I saw another girl with him who claimed they slept together but again I have no proof. Fast forward now a year and a half later he texts me again now I know for sure he is not with his gf- when he texted me he claimed she took advantage of him - anyways he asked me to go down again in New York and I was like well why don't u come to boston and he is - he was like illCome down and he send me flowed- I also texted him I was like hey if u come down I hope ur not expecting much- and he was like listen I want to come down a nd just hang out.... Am I overthinkng this? I mean I am pretty guys hit on me but why would u come done for somekne u only met once? All I can think of is that he just wants to have sex with me and I am very old fashioned and I have told him this . I'm a little jaded because I am surrounded by bad people but its hard to believe my beauty would want to attract somekne out of state - he is also a guy that is young 27 and work I'm sales and makes money so I think he is super cocky and parties a lot at least what I see from pics.. My question is if the guy comes down for me which he is do u think t would be for sex- I feel pressure to even see him because I already have the stereotype that he is a cheater __ even his guy fiend my mutual friend was like Derek will always cheat .. I do find him attractive but if he comes down should I meet him ??
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2013): Come on, let's be straight up and honest.
If you thought the worst of Derek, you wouldn't have kept track of him all this time. You were a willing co-conspirator when he "cheated" by carrying on a text-flirtation with you behind his girlfriend's back.
Technically, it makes you two of a kind. Only, you didn't have a boyfriend at the time. You didn't take it past a flirtation; but you cheated by dismissing the fact that he had a girlfriend at the time. You wouldn't have liked being in her place, would you?
What do you expect anyone to say; if you are genuinely attracted the guy? In which case; you aren't going to listen to anyone but the people that tell you to go out with him. I'm going to give you a caveat warning.
You can spend time and share company with the guy. You know his track record; so who says you have to make him a boyfriend?
He is coming for a visit. You don't have to be alone with him unless you have your own plans for him. I would suggest keeping your other friend around to keep your pants on.
I have a feeling Derek has ulterior motives, and you'd be just another convenient notch in his belt. You've been warned by a mutual friend who cares about you. Use your head.
If you decide to have sex with the guy, don't expect him to suddenly change his ways; and become a faithful boyfriend.
He's too old,and pushing 30. He isn't likely to change his ways. A cheat remains a cheater 90% of the time. The other 10% reform; or they are murdered by jealous lovers.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (24 December 2013):
Of course he wants sex. He knows that even if you say your old fashioned, you may sleep with him and claim you never do this type of thing.
I'm not trying to stereotype you, it's just my experience and likely his as well.
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