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Will anal sex hurt every time?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 March 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 29 March 2011)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

ok so my boyfriend and i want to have anal sex..does anyone have tips. and is there anyway to make it hurt less...other than a lot of lube.. and will it hurt everytime..

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (29 March 2011):

person12345 agony auntIf it hurts why are you doing it? My understanding is that it doesn't ever really stop hurting. If you don't like it/want it right off the bat you probably never will. If it hurts, what's in it for you? You shouldn't do something that hurts just to make your boyfriend happy.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011):

Anal sex can be very pleasurable for both the girl and the guy. However, it's not as straightforward as vaginal sex. First, you need to work up to being able to take his penis into your rectum. It may take several days of playing, learning to accept his fingers. Start with one finger, learn to enjoy it, have him lick you to orgasm. The next time, work up to two fingers, and have him get you off. Next time, use a small, soft toy. Avoid big or hard toys. You need something that will be similar to a penis- firm, but giving. Hard toys can be difficult to deal with at first.

Once you're able to accept his fingers without clamping down, you're ready to have him penetrate you with his penis. He needs to be hard, lubed up, and let you push back onto him. You control the penetration- he simply stays still. You need to take it at your pace, he needs to allow you to learn how to do it.

Find a position that works for you. My wife likes to be laying on her stomach, legs spread, with me on top. She gets off violently- very strong G Spot orgasms.

Go slow, learn to love it and enjoy!

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A male reader, garcypher United Kingdom +, writes (29 March 2011):

Iv'e never been one for anal sex, but I have known women who insist on it being done to them leaving me feeling chagrined and awkward. But under the sheets we want to be the best and so do what is asked. I refused to once with a girl and she left me same night. Maybe she was a masochist, I don't know.I suppose after doing it a couple hundred times you wouldn't feel a thing.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011):

Why do you and your boyfriend want to have anal sex? Are you having regular vaginal intercourse? Or are you choosing anal to keep your virginity intact?

I'm not sure if you're fully prepared for having anal sex. Like The Realist said, it takes a great amount of trust and being relaxed for it to feel OK. Also, a lot of lubrication.

Your anus is more of a big muscle than a stretchy organ, like a vagina. Your anus won't stretch and expand when penetrated like your vagina. It is easily torn and damaged during anal sex. If you're just wanting to try anal because you're avoiding actual sex, it's probably not worth it.

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (29 March 2011):

The Realist agony auntUse lots of lube (glad you know it), make sure you are relaxed and that he takes it slow without going too deep. My girlfriend and I tried it a few times and she said it was uncomfortable at first but once things settle in it was a good experience.

Being relaxed and trusting him is the most important. It's not a porn video so he can't pound away on you because then it will hurt otherwise it should be fine. Also use a condom for sanitary reasons and you want to make sure not to switch between anal and vaginal sex without a good wash.

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