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anonymous
writes:
My wife has just told me she has had two affairs while abroad visiting her family. I have always been sure she was unfaithful, and as a result I have had a few one night stands.I also get excited when thinking of her with another man. She has expressed interest in group sex which both excites and scares me. A few years ago she ran up a £300 phone bill calling sex lines.
Until she told me she had been unfaithful I thought that I could accept it: however, I find it difficult to resolve my few (3) one night stands with her seeing the same person repeatedly.
She visits home every year for 2 months and I am not sure I can come to terms with the fact that she is probably going to see other men during these periods. We have two young children which complicates matters further, and I do not know what to do. Please could you give me some advice.
Rgds,
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2005): I fail to see any solid foundation to this relationship you call a marriage. You've both cheated, you've both have sexual affairs, you have this fanatsy of seeing her make love to another man, she is addicted to phone sex, you both want to try group sex-you have NOTHING that even resembles a loving, committed, meaningful. monogomous marriage here, except for two beautiful children who deserve an intact, solid, loving home with two parents who are faithful & committed to each other. The bond of trust and respect seem totally shattered with you both. It's likely irrepairable. I really would like to say to keep working at this marriage but in all honesty -I can't do that. It's too late for any reconstruction.
Get a divorce and put this behind you. But don't forget you share responsibility for the care of those children.
I think your primary focus should be providing them with a happy, supportive, loving environment and making sure their nneds are top prioroity. A miracle might happen and you both might change, and make this marriage work. But I really highly doubt it. If you both decide to give each other another chance. I sincerely hope, both of you learn to appreciate & love each other and regain what you lost so long ago. Good luck
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reader, harshbutfair  +, writes (26 August 2005):
 Sounds like she is a sex addict. Also sounds like your marriage is over. Maybe file for divorce?
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