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Why would that girl and Mr. Admin talk about me a year after I left the site?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Online dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 April 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 April 2015)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'm interested to know your points of view on this.

Here's a little history:

About two years ago, I joined a chat site where people go on to chat about movies. The admin of the site and I clicked immediately and within a few days, he made me admin. We got close and he seemed interested in me. At the same time, we also had a group of friends we chat with in the chat room and became close. Since I felt I didn't know Mr. Admin too well, I kept my distance by suggesting he not only visit me, but also another girl from the site who is from my area too. Mr. Admin became upset with me as he felt I was brushing him off. That girl, who appears interested in Mr. Admin found out I wanted him to visit her too, and got offended that I brought her into our 'drama'. She played the 'poor me' role. Told some people I spread rumors about her and Mr. Admin etc. Mr. Admin got mad at me and banned me from his site. She was happy.

Then Mr. Admin's site wasn't doing well and needed help. Mr. Admin asked for my help and I helped. I became Moderator and Admin again for his site. That girl was not happy. At that same time, I met a guy from the site, we chatted and he became my boyfriend. That girl tried to get close to my boyfriend to get info about us. My boyfriend told her our story. She told Mr. Admin., who got mad/jealous or I don't know what.. and he banned me from the site again.

I was finally done with Mr. Admin and his site. I was back there to help a friend out because he asked, and then he decides to ban me again because I have a boyfriend now? I was done. I left the site and continued my relationship with my boyfriend. We've been together for a year and a half now.

Recently, I heard Mr. Admin was struggling with his site. I went back to take a look and felt bad but didn't do anything. I saw in the chat room that the girl is there again talking about ME! I was shocked because I haven't been to the site in ages and have moved on long ago. I go back today and she is saying to Mr. Admin that I am stalking her in PERSON. She said she thinks it's me cuz the person went up to her to say HI but she's not sure if it's me. Mr. Admin asked what is she talking about because she would know for sure whether it's me or not if the stalker went up to her. Then she just didn't make sense and started calling me a monkey's ass and making jokes.

My question is.. I'm so curious to know why.. after a year would that girl and Mr. Admin bring me up? I've moved on long ago and I don't talk about them anymore. I did go back to take a look at his site (never chatted) because someone mentioned it wasn't doing well and he is struggling. I know that they are probably not the nicest people, but I care about them because once upon a time we really had a fun time chatting and got to know each other. I will always remember the friendship. Not that I want to be friends again tho.

View related questions: chat room, stalking

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A female reader, PeanutButter United States +, writes (18 April 2015):

PeanutButter agony auntI agree with the last poster that life is too short.

People have the right to feel how they want about you and it is none of your business (in a good way, I'm not being mean) and so the best thing you can do is to let them get on with their online drama.

To me, though, I will say that if she is still going on about you this long after you left the site, then this is clearly the only subject she and the admin guy share because she's probably trying to hold his attention and doesn't have any conversation left in her that they can connect on. She's probably seaking attention, too.

You haven't been on the site, you aren't stalking her in person and she's making up lies, and you're out living your life. I think you win in this one, and best let them get on with their own drama.

I have someone who talks about ME a lot, online, and she sladers me left, right and center. I don't do anything about it because she is entitled to her opinion and she's only lying to herself. I just carry on. Anyone who knows me, knows what I am like and that is good enough for me. I think it could be good enough for you too! :)

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 April 2015):

Honeypie agony auntBecause the girl was/is jealous of you and because she felt like you were an easy target.

Ignore the site, Ignore these people.

There IS a reason it's not doing so well and it might BE the combination of the Admin and this girl.

Did she KNOW you were in the chatroom, because maybe she wasn't trying to be funny at your expense, but she was trying to make you feel bad. Why? Who knows? Some people are bullies on the Internet, because they are "helpless" in real life. Some just love the drama.

If I were you I'd just stay away from their lame drama and stop wondering WHY they are doing what they are doing - there is NO reason to bring these people and their drama back in your life.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2015):

Let it go. Life is too short to spend it worrying about people who don't add value to your life.

Who knows why she's doing it? Who cares? That is a bit sad that her only excitement comes from fantasising about what you might or might not be up to.

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