A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:OK where to start six years ago I met again whit my high school friend, she was going threw a divorce I always liked her since high school but back then her boyfriend was my best friend and we ended up not talking anymore because of her, well the point is she had a child by this other men she married which I have raced like mine since hes father has not seen him since he was born, also I had a daughter whit her now she is three she never told me untill she was 6 month pregnant obviously I left her and she never told me cause that was one of the many many times that we have broke up, threw the many times that we have broke up I always go on and find some one else I tried two relationships before but every time she finds out she drops back in my live and goes around me and around me untill I break up whit anyone to go back to her because I feel my love for her is so so big like I have never experience before well the last time we broke up I deside it I was not going to start another relationship untill I was over her but after like a eight month I found out threw a friend that she was talking to someone else and I admit I went crazy I couldnt even sleep at nigh I confronted her about it and tried and tried untill ones again we went back whit each other this time I thoud it was different I said no more secrets I let her go threw my phone answer my calls gave her my e mail password everything about a month ago ones again I broke up whit her beacuse well we just argue non stop about ridiculous stuff that I thoud it would had stop after I gave her control of prity much everything I do now she keeps on pleying whit me if I go out she gets mad but if I go to her she does not want me to be there she says she loves me and will always but I have done so much stuff to her that she will never forget like the girls i been with after her etc. but also she has gotten very violent whit me, one time slash my four tiers in a movie theater, punch me outside of the club cause I was out whit friends we were not even together when we write messages to each other I write her love messages and she just cuse me out and tells me what a horrible men I am buuuuutttt she loves me so is like im the one going to her but she does not want me but when I deside to back up then she gets mad that I do I just dont know what to do if to go on or keep on trying, it kills me everytime I have to go pick my daughter up and she is indiferent and now she does not even let me see my other son practicly I rece him since he was 3 month old now hes five years old what should I do in one side I want her but why would I want some one that treats me like garbage and on the other when she finds another guy I will loose it again I know this sory for the long letter but is complicated to explain in just a few words.
View related questions:
best friend, broke up, divorce, violent Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2009): Think this sounds too complicated for someone here to try and help with as you obviously have a lot of conflicting feelings. Also not sure I can follow wihout full stops either!! Either you and her sit down and have a long honest conversation or you try and go to a Relate counsellor or something who can be a subjective "voice of reason"?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have ask her many time to go out and then she says ok then at the last moment she says she got cauught up at work or is taking the kids to a movie then I dont even get mad after the third time I deside it that if she said no again well I was gona go out whit friends so I told her just so she would have confidence in me, but nothing that only made it worst and I mean the words she says to me is out of the ordinary I mean if you love somebody how can you respond to them whit a curse word everytime they say they love you and then turn around and say im the one that does not love you when im the only one that is sticking to you and trying and showing you their love, when we were together she would not let me go anywhere whit my friends because of the previous brakeups and the fact that I was dating well that made sence so I told her to come out whit us, well that was a problem to because she says she does not like my friends and is not like she has any so we can go out she did before but distance herself from them when we went back together, I really love her but my family afcourse because they are my family and they dont like to see me get hurt well they hate her but still treat her and so do my friends I just dont know if I shoud keep fighting for it she does not appretiate what I have done for her and I mean I have done, when we were together she quit her job well because she wanted more time with the kids and I was ok with that she never cook because I would always buy food and take it home or we would order food at home I would take her to where ever she wanted I mean their wasnt a reason for her to act like that with me well is worst because she would peak the little flaus like she would say you live everything oraund and I have to pick up and I was like well lets get a mate to clean the house so she would snap so when I clean and did the dishes and clean the floor their was always something new I think the reason I am attach to her is because I have never lived with anyone else but her or the fact that we have kids, but I do love her threw all of it, sometimes I sit and go threw all of this in my head and I still cant understand her, I wish I could just let go but I just cant im letting time pass by and I refuse to invade her space because well I just dont want to hear anymore of those hurtfull words she has said to me you ruin my live im like you were going threw a divorse and had a child when I came into your live so I mean I was 20 years old and wasnt attach to anything. I dont know I just dont know what to do.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): Hey! Sounds complicated! I just split up with someone who didn't always treat me well. When I finally had the courage, as you had, to split up with him, he cried and wanted me back, so against my better judgement I gave him a second chance, just for him to treat me badly again, once he'd proved he could get me back. And runing my self-confidence in the process. If you were with other girls when you guys weren't together and trying to get on with your life, it was none of her concern. She can't have it both ways. In fact she sounds a bit nuts or at least desperately unhappy or insecure and the violent streak is worrying with 2 small children. How are you supposed to get on with your life when she keeps "turning up" when you find someone? You can never get away from her that way - just what she wants for when she's down and needs you there to prop her ego up. And of course her mixed messages are going to mean you're hurt and confused when she acts interested in another man. Having said that, you guys have got kids so there's a massive incentive to have to TRY and stay friends and act like grown-ups for their sake - maybe get friends/family involved to help you guys stay civil without all the DRAMA!!
...............................
A
female
reader, ErinPatterson +, writes (31 March 2009):
 My god man thats tough. Well if you guys have children together..I think thats what I read ...than maybe if you could sit down like two grown adults and you could explain to her just like you did in your post how you feel and that you love her well maybe you could work things out..always good to try when there is children..but if not dont fight in frnt of them all the time..I mean there is no perfect world but at one point it is make it work or dont...its hard but unfortunately someone has to be the bigger person and put and end to the bull..
...............................
|
