A
female
age
26-29,
*evo
writes:have a guy friend who I have known for 25 years. We talk everyday on email and text each other when we are drunk or when we arent emailing. Basically any thought we have we tell each other. We have the funniest fights over email where we say the most insulting things to each other... Like different ways we would like each other to die!! How we would rather **** off with a cheese grater or have sex with a pineapple, than each other... Its hilarious! He makes me laugh more than anyone I know!! We have such a fiery relationship yet we are extremely close... We talk about everything... So why was it when we were both out one night he asked me to sleep with him? Why would he risk such a good friendship for some drunk sex?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): Women seem to naturally draw a sharp line between guys that are "friends" (safe) and guys that are potential mates (unsafe and must be handled carefully.) Once a man has been "friend"-ed there is usually no going back to sexual prospect in her mind.Men just aren't like this so much. It's not one-or-the-other, it can just as easily be both. Being better and better friends with a girl can sometimes just make us MORE likely to wanna jump her, not less. Its not always the way our brains work, but it can be this way as often as it's not. (Hey, is our way any less right than yours? IMO it's the women's sharp-line division that makes less logical sense.)
A
female
reader, Klara  + ♥, writes (15 August 2009):
sounds from the effort you put into flirting via emails and stuff that you both are into eachother..
you decide what you want. the alcohol just revealed he is interested in something more with YOU. if you know him so well..you would know if he is like this with other...
so trust yourself and make a call :)
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A
female
reader, Klara + ♥, writes (15 August 2009):
sounds from the effort you put into flirting via emails and stuff that you both are into eachother..
you decide what you want. the alcohol just revealed he is interested in something more with YOU. if you know him so well..you would know if he is like this with other...
so trust yourself and make a call :)
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A
female
reader, Kalyov  + ♥, writes (15 August 2009):
 sometimes alcohol can bring out true feelings
what if he does actually like you?
maybe he would like to move from friendship to relationship since you all get along so well...but is afraid so say so but it accidentally slipped when he was drunk??
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (15 August 2009):
 He was drunk his inhibitions where lowered why is this ruining your friendship are you married, if your single and hes single and your friends then what the hell its only natural if you don't want to have sex with him tell him no and if your that good of friends you can be honest and tell him why. Hes probably liked you for awhile its doesnt take much for a guy to like a women atleast for sexual purposes coupled with alcohol guys will chase a troll.
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A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (15 August 2009):
 Alcohol, as well as drugs which impair judgment, causes the person to loose or lower inhibitions which are normally in place when sober. This is how many people end up in bed with a person they never intended to be in bed with - because the alcohol or drugs impaired their (normally sound) judgment.
The other issue is that alcohol and drugs can cause the person to become more sexually aroused and therefore seek to release that sexual energy with whomever is around at the time. So your friend, being drunk, sought to have sex with you probably (only) because he was drunk. Does that mean he isn't or hasn't thought about sex with you when he was sober? No, he probably has. But the integrity of your friendship is much more important to him when he is sober. But when he is drunk, the friendship's integrity goes out the window and he is seeking merely to release his sexual energy with someone he is comfortable with.
Having sex with such a good friend is very dangerous. It holds the ability to destroy the foundation you have built together - to undermine the relationship itself. Setting clear rules about what cannot take place in the relationship will help in situations when you both are vulnerable to abnormal advances by the other. When these feelings rise, hopefully one of you will remember the rules of the relationship and will steer the other towards remembering those rules.
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, devo +, writes (15 August 2009):
devo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI dont know! He is awesome... He is a shy guy and is sweet and funny and I love talking to him... If I was attracted to him... then I probably could see myself liking him more than a friend. Im just trying to figure out if he was just being a typical guy or if he actually likes me?
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A
male
reader, Ted-ster +, writes (15 August 2009):
Only a woman would ask such a question:) The answer: Because he's a guy! And drunk sex is great! At least for the guy! However, you're absolutely right to say no. Guys don't respect women in the morning after drunk sex or one night stands. Very differnt if you're in a relationship. If he likes you, he will let you know when he's sober. Otherwise, let him scratch his own (sexual) itch when he's wasted. Good for you!
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A
female
reader, \m/J.D\m/  +, writes (15 August 2009):
 Was it purely a case of drunk sex? maybe he genuinely wants to start up a relationship with you... you get on so well, you have a laugh, whats holding you back from likin this guy? if you can talk about everything with him as you say you can, give it a go and see what he says. i dont think its here you need to be searching for answers chick, you should be looking to him. GOOD LUCK :) x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009): Are you honestly being serious with us?You show me any guy who mentions having sex with a woman to her and says he wouldnt actually want to have sex with her and ill show you a liar. This guy likes you. He likes your friendship and is attracted to you. If you honestly dont want to have sex with him then I cant see you remaining as friends because he may have felt like thats where ye were headed but had to get drunk to actually say it.Wake up and be honest with him.
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A
female
reader, L*  + ♥, writes (15 August 2009):
because he is comfortable with you and likes you. do you like him more than a friend?
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