A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why would a man who claims to love me tell me his ex looked as good as a porn star?Did he say this because he feels I'm not as pretty or hot as her . I am considerably fatter and older than her and can't understand why he said this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2017): So what did you decide to do? Did you forgive him? Or did you leave?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2017): Well, it was said during an argument, so he was obviously trying to hurt you.
I DON"T think that is acceptable talk.
I think there are some things that should NEVER be said, no matter how mad you get,...such as telling a guy his penis is too small, telling a woman her pussy is too loose, or, you know, comparing you to an ex sexually!
That is NOT appropriate at all. I know some times we say in arguments things we don't mean, or even cuss someone out, but honestly if a boyfriend said this to me I would dump him so fast it wouldn't even be funny....
I would say, go find another porn star then, I will go find a real man...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2017): I can't conceive that there is any love from someone when they would hurt you in what they probably know is the worst way possible for YOU. He probably senses that you might be insecure about your looks and so kicked you where he knew it would hurt the most.When I read your post, I didn't think that it was just a slip. No-one in their right mind would say this because they have no filter. It was a comment intended to hurt. Yes, during arguments we say things we don't mean sometimes, but to make you feel extremely insecure on purpose like this, is beyond forgivable. He sounds abusive.Would you EVER consider saying something similar to him? Such as your ex was a brilliant lover and was blessed in the trouser department? I bet not if you have any integrity at all. You have a horrible boyfriend there I'm afraid and if you stay with him, he will make you VERY unhappy. Mark my words. Sorry.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 February 2017):
 He said it to you because he was angry and wanted to hurt you. Very childish off him, and we all say things in arguments that we simply do not mean so try not to stress about it. If it is still upsetting you then you should talk to him about it, and allow him to reassure you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2017): Then he said it to be hurtful.
What a nice guy you have there!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2017): Op here , sorry I should have mentioned . It was said during an argument
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2017): Men are just too stupid and too honest sometimes.
I am wondering DID YOU ASK HIM? Or did he volunteer this information?
As for his ex looking like a porn star, well, that's NO compliment at all!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 February 2017):
 Foot-in-mouth syndrome ; no filter. Lots of people just say the very first thing that pops in their mind, without considering how and if it could affect other people. And, maybe a bit of insecurity, a bit of making himself look good.... the subtext might be around the lines of " I may not look like much, or have accomplished that much, or be much important socially, but hey, I dated a pornstar lookalike, , and if I can have someone who looks so hot, then I must be hot shit myself ".
Then again, so maybe he does feel that the ex was prettier than you . From a purely visual point of view. If you say yourself that you are much older and fatter than her, then I suppose that objectively perhaps she makes better eye-candy than you . Maybe if you both should join a beauty pageant , she'd get more points than you.
And ?... Where is she now ?.... Nowhere to be seen around him. She is history. She is out, you are in.
I guess that having a pornstar butt is not enough to keep a man interested !
Do not compare yourself.It's a pointless exercise in frustration. The world might be full of women who are younger, prettier than you ( ...or me, of course ). Or richer, smarter, funnier, you name it. You cannot be " best in show " every time . The good news is, you don't need to. You are more than good enough just as you are for this guy.Obviously. If you weren't, he would not be with you.
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate  +, writes (7 February 2017):
He is clueless and too honest. I know a guy who told his wife that his former girlfriend was the best woman he ever slept with. He couldn't understand why she was angry. He loves her and they have an active sex life but she asked him playfully if she was the best he ever had and he naively told her the truth. That's just how dumb some guys are.And by the way porn stars are not that attractive when you actually look at them. Almost everything about them is fake plastcey and over painted.
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