A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Ive been dating a guy for the past 8 months and i adore him as he does me. I was with a guy for nearly 4 years before him, which was my first love but gradualy became my best friend and more like a brother and i started to look else where mainly for freedom and because we had both grown up so much. After getting out of that relationship i was single for 5 months and then i met my boyfriend that im with now.At first he was so eager, wanting to see me all the time etc etc. Then things cooled down and i started to get paranoid about getting hurt, i never really let on, just put up emotional walls and pushed myself to go out and get on with life and believed he will come to me when he wants.After about 2 months of this, everything started to get amazing, Around christmas he became the perfect boyfriend and admitted he realised i was the right girl for him, i wasnt like his ex's, always trying to stop him doing what he wanted to do and seeing people he wanted to see. I never nagged him. Just let him get on with it. But my problem is.. Ive always had a thing about the internet, my ex used it against me alot, chatting up girls and always sneaking up on what i was doing online and who i was talking to.. like he had something to feel guilty about.. and even now.. to this day my current boyfriend just wont change his status to in a relationship, and wont take his ex out of his top friends (She's third and im not even in there) Ive asked a few times to be in his top friends because id love it but i get responces like "If i remember" or "I never update these things" .. Now.. his ex is someone hes still really good friends with even though they dont really talk, they live in the same village. He has a lot of bad things to say about his first long term relationship.. but not this one. I get the feeling he had more feelings for her than she did for him. Like i said i NEVER let on about insecurities and we are so happy together but this is eating me away. I still havent met his parents or seen him house but he has just started to ask me to come round as him mum now wants to meet me. I guess im just insecure about why he can't let his friends list (and his ex girlfriend) know he is in a new relationship even after 8 months! Ive met all his friends and some of his family but this is the only thing he just wont do. Any one have any answers?
View related questions:
best friend, christmas, ex girlfriend, his ex, insecure, my ex, the internet Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, devora  +, writes (13 March 2008):
I've never known of a situation like this where the guy wasn't actively pursuing other women (both on the internet and off) and eventually cheating and/or leaving for either their ex or an internet "friend." But what you should be really angry about, and consider completely unacceptable, is uwhat he's telling you/u through his non-actions and lame excuses. Many people think it's cool to say "oh, come on, it's just myspace," but that is bulldoody. Actions taken and decisions made on myspace uare/u significant, and in this case symbolic of your boyfriend's brazen lack of respect for you and your relationship, and his complete disregard of your feelings. And he is clearly communicating that he prioritizes his ex above you -- WAY above you. You're not even worth enough to him to take two minutes out of his day to simply change his status and edit his top friends, despite knowing it would mean alot to you if he did. He doesn't care. Do really you want to be with someone who doesn't care about your feelings?The things I'm saying might sound harsh, but I think you need to hear them. Reclaim your dignity, and don't waste any more time on this jerk you're dating.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): this is not issue all you can do just ignore him and care on wth your life as usually i think thats the best way of dealing with it
...............................
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (12 March 2008):
 I am in a relationship that has not even reached eight months yet, and my bf created our own myspace page, and I am on his top friends list and he is on mine, and some of his ex's he no longer speaks to, because he respects me enough not to speak to them, since one of them said bad things about me. He has many ex's, but only talks to some of them. His relationship status is on taken, and he gave me the passwords to his email accounts and his myspace account, so that I would know that I could trust him. If he doesn't check those things, ask him to give you the password, so you can change what you want to change!
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten  + ♥, writes (12 March 2008):
 Hi
Why won't he tell his friends list and his ex he is no longer single...even after 8 months??
Just a guess at this stage but, open his keeping options.
Rearrange those words!
C xxxxxx
...............................
|
