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Why? Why is she not into me anymore?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 November 2014) 4 Answers - (Newest, 2 December 2014)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

So I have been with this girl for almost a year and at first she seemed so interested then she went on a little vacation sort of speak and while there I would talk to her on the phone and write each other letters.

She told me that her old behavior was not going to happen anymore; that she was sorry she ever hurt me in the ways she did before

When she came back from her vacation she had not changed at all, if anything she got worse.

For instance: like always wanting to go to a house she use to live in to hang out but I can't go in there because the home owner and I don't really get along.

She leaves things behind every time we go there so that she has an excuse to go back there

I haven't really been spending anytime with her because she won't give it to me only when she wants me to take her to a particular place.

And then she tells me that since I and her became a couple people don't really call her no more which in all honesty made me feel pretty horrible.

I'm starting to become more and more insecure and that's not like me at all

It's just that she'd rather spend time else where than with me.

For instance I'll be up and awake and she much rather go to sleep and I'm left to really nothing but write u guys from now on

I think she has met someone else at that house what is going on I think maybe she needs to realize that I'm sort of in love with her and o yeah she says she is to but.

What kind of chick leaves her man outside waiting in the car while she's kicking it at that house?

View related questions: insecure

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A male reader, lifesgreat United Kingdom +, writes (2 December 2014):

Well no offence mate but she doesn't sound worth getting upset about .

But yeah it does sound as if she has met somebody else and unfortunately like a lot of girls she is getting with him while still dating you .

Anything to do with this girl is going to cause you pain mate just get rid of her and have a cheaper Christmas

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2014):

I think when it comes to the point that you're being someone's chauffeur and waiting in a car while they go off to enjoy themselves, maybe in a romantic way, it says something is seriously wrong and the relationship is kaput. Why are you willing to wait outside while she does this? Have you lost all self respect? Only a horribly narcissistic person would treat their friend/bf this way, you have to realize that.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2014):

If you're the type of guy who wont take no for an answer, or refuses to move on; you'll continue to be faced with what you're going through.

It really doesn't matter "why" she isn't into you anymore. The fact you have to face is that she isn't.

Do you believe because you remain in-love with her, she has no right to change how she feels about you? Are her actions consistent with her words?

Perhaps your relationship has runs its course. What you had between you has reached the expiration date, and she has decided it is time for her to move on. Breaking up is hell!

Are you trying to be the stubborn boyfriend who insists nothing ends unless you want it to? Desperately clinging

when you know it's over?

Sorry, you can't force people to love you if they don't.

She says she does, because you refuse to accept the truth.

What choice do you leave her but to be deceptive and tell you what you want to hear? You insist on holding on; so you'll be miserable as long as you do.

Once you decide to let go, you'll be free of all this.

What kind of guy waits, while the woman he claims to be his girlfriend leaves him in the car to visit with someone else?

Read your own post aloud, then think about it. Isn't it time to let it go? I know it's hard, and it hurts. You're miserable with things as they are.

It's time to man-up and walkaway. You will heal and get over the pain as you've surely done in the past. You're in your thirties; so you've been down this road before. It doesn't get easier, but you're more mature now; and emotionally, you're better equipped to deal with a breakup than when you were younger. You know you'll suffer, but you'll survive it.

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A male reader, Xearo Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (29 November 2014):

I think you hit the nail on the head, she's most likely seeing someone else or is interested in someone else. Not really sure how this affects you, but you are wasting time even talking to this girl, she's not even much of a friend.

Seems like she is 100% made up her mind. And she just wants to treat you bad so she can take you for a ride.

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