A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I need help... My relationship with a guy 18 years younger than me ended 9 months ago.. I was the one to leave.. But I can't seen to get over him. You see we lived together for almost two years, of the two there was no intimacy for a year.. He would tell me that he had stress issues or baby momma issues, or low testosterone.. He would say I was old, or ugly, he even went as far as saying I had no ass and it made him cringe.. But a couple of days later he was grabbing my ass??? I would talk to male friends about The situation and they told me you are a beautiful woman and he is either one gay or two sleeping with someone else you need to ask him so I did his response well they didn't mention I could be with a twenty year old. I was hurt.. He said IM lonely, bored, and horny I want to have sex just not with you.. Every time I would pack up to leave he would say he loved me and wanted it to work..i Worked, cooked, cleaned, took care of his 6 year old when he had him on the weekends, paid all the bills, he was spending his pay check like water on what God only knows, because there was never any physical stuff brought into the house. He even spent my money.. The last straw was when he got mad over cat poop that was in the bathroom, and he claimed it was dog poop.. He had been home all day where I was at work, I came home and he said I want to know where the dog came from. Of course IM looking for a dog and IM saying what dog? He shows me the poop and I say we don't have a dog it has to be cat poop.. He says your a liar and he leaves walking cause he has no car to go to work, I get in my car and follow him and tell him to get in and he does and I said now tell me what this is really about and he says it's about whose dog it is.. Talk about insane.. One I was at work all day. Two we had a cat not a dog...well I tried to make it over that crazy ass hump we were civil the next couple of days but one day he told me IM not happy anymore and we shouldn't stay together just because we are afraid to be alone. So I told him I had a solution and he said what be irrational. I said no IM packing up and leaving. The next day I told him good bye and he said I do love you.. I said I love you too and I walked out. He watched me leave and I waved good bye to him but he didn't wave back.. There has been so many unanswered questions I mean how could he not be happy withwith a woman that did so much forfor him? I even helped take care of his dying dad I went 4000.00 in debt to help him get his son.. What is wrong with me, why was I not good enough for him.. What could I have done to save this relationship other than continue to take care of him?
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at work, debt, horny, I love you, liar, money Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (6 March 2016):
 Love blinds us and can make us do things that normally we would never do nor would we tolerate. I've seen people tolerate all kinds of behavior from a loved one when they would flat out tell their sister or best friends to walk away. Its sad but true and this is what happened to you. You loved the man and you allowed him to walk all over you, hurt you, taunt you, deny you love and affection...all in the name of LOVE.
It isn't that you did anything wrong or could have done something different hun. Its just that this man you were with loved himself and what you offered more than he loved you. He was a user, a jerk, a creep whatever you want to call him.
I'm sorry for you, I know it can't be easy for you, but thats the bottom line. You were kind and gave of yourself both physically, emotionally and financially and he took advantage of you.
Stop beating yourself up and trying to get answers. Put him out of your life once and for all. Almost all of us have made mistakes in the name of love...you live and learn. HUGS
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (6 March 2016):
 WHY would you spend even another MINUTE thinking about this creature?????
GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!! WITHOUT him in it!!!!!!
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (6 March 2016):
 The guy didn't LOVE you like YOU love(d) him. He did however "LOVE" the benefit of being with you. You paid all the bills, you cooked, you cleaned and took care of his kid. Build in housekeeper who ALSO pays the bills! What is not to "love"?
But someone who LOVES someone else do not degrade them, they do not make you feel like you are not good enough, young enough, pretty enough, perky enough... THAT is not love.
My guess is he used the "player technique" which is to tear you down occasionally, to make you feel GRATEFUL that he is dating you, that he is "letting" you take care of him in every way.
He didn't have sex with you, because he didn't want to. He probably thought he could DO "better" - but in reality he couldn't. Because in you he had a parent/housekeeper and breadwinner - something he WOULDN'T get in a 20 year old.
This isn't about YOU not being good enough. This is about you... being with someone who doesn't REALLY care for you and you... being so busy ignoring it because you WANT him to love you, as you love him.
This is about you to accepting that he is full of crap. Read your post again and tell me... does his words really match his actions? Are his actions that of a man who REALLY loves you?
He sounds like a crappy partner. And you sound a bit like a desperate doormat. (no offense) but someone who is willing to pay all the bills, do the cleaning the cooking etc. and on top of that... accept his verbal diarrhea. So what that he is younger than you? Younger obviously doesn't mean better suited.
Make sure your NAME is off ALL the bills, the rental agreement -EVERYTHING. Make sure you change your bank card and all passwords.
And then CUT the contact 100%. ACCEPT that this guy is NOT a Keeper. He was someone who USED you. For personal and monetary gain. WANT more for yourself in the future.
And in the future don't give a guy so many chances to treat you like crap. "I love you" is not some magical chant that fixes all the bad he has done and said to you.
Someone treats you with disrespect, dishonesty, deceit cut them lose. Don't ACCEPT it.
Chin up. You are now on the road to a better future without this selfish user. BLOCK him and move on.
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