A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 39 ear old guy in Dublin, and fancy 2 women. First woman is 46 years old and lives in London and we have known each other for just over a month now. I have sent her flowers and 2 gifts. The second woman is 39 and lives in Cork, and Ive known her for 2 weeks. I have to met both women in person yet. But I talk regularly to both on the phone and on skype. I worry if I date the older lady my mam and rest of my family mightn't approve due to age difference. What should I do as I'm meeting the older lady in 2 weeks in London for the day?
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (20 October 2013):
 You're 39. At this point, you should be making decisions for yourself and not shaking in your shoes about your mom's approval. That being said, a 7-year age difference is NOTHING, especially at your age. One of my closest friends is 9 years older than her husband, and they are happily married.
Forget the age difference and go with the one you like more. Trust me, 7 years is nothing.
A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (20 October 2013):
 If at 39 you are still letting your mother make your major life decisions then perhaps an older woman is exactly what you need ;)Seriously though, it's very early in the dating process to be hung up on something like that. There's no guarantee that you're going to have a long-term relationship with either of them, especially since you've never met in person and have yet to assess that part of your chemistry with each of them. The main goal for you here should be to figure out which woman YOU like better and date that woman, if she'll have you. Preferably decide this sooner rather than later, as it's not kind to the second choice to string her along while you make up your mind. (Unless of course they both know that you're seeing other women too.)Good luck and best wishes :)
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (20 October 2013):
 the age difference is nothing. it's only seven years and you're both very much adults. no one would say a word if you were the 46 year old and she the 39 year old. who cares? besides, does it really matter what your family says? i suppose it's nice to have your family's support, but i guess at least for me, being gay, i'm biased and used to my family disapproving of everyone i'm with, as they want me to be with a man. so familiy approval isn't that big of a deal to me anymore.
do what feels right to you. if you want, see them both in person and find out which one feels right, if either of them. then go from there.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (20 October 2013):
 As we get older a seven year age difference does not seem as large a gap as it would when we are still teenagers or early 20s. You don't say why you feel your Mam might be unhappy about the age gap, has she been making noises about wanting grandchildren from you?
If you decide you would like to build a relationship with either of these ladies, do it slowly and get to a point where you are comfortable in each other's company before introducing her to your mother.
If you are firm in your resolve and know the lady is the one you would like to settle down with one day your mum will see for her self that you are happy. If she cant accept it just limit contact with your mum to short visits until she comes round.
Even though we all want our parents love and approval at 39 she should be able to accept you need to live your life the way you chose and with who you chose .... just tell your mum that and say 'get over it mum'.
Good luck with your date in London!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 October 2013):
 I suggest that you spend all the time between now and the moment that you meet either of these women trying to figure out WHY you are letting your "Mam" have such influence in your life.....
WHO is living your life?????
Good luck...
P.S. I understand that British ladies are THE BOMB!!! Good luck - expecially - in London...
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (19 October 2013):
 If you are going to let your mum and family dictate your life and who you can date; you might as well never meet this lady.
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