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Why put forth all of the effort to just change his mind?

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 June 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 July 2008)
A female United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

About a year ago i dated this boy for about a year, we were both 17 at the time. I broke up with him during the exams because we were both really stressed out and werent getting along. Neither of us got over it for a long time, we havent seen each other since but we talked a bit over the internet and its been pretty obvious that we still have feelings for each other. About 3 months ago we were talking and i indicated that i would like to meet up with him as friends after this set of exams, he said yes quite pleasantly and we carried on being friends. no apparent problem. Then about a month ago we both started talking a lot and one evening a bit out of the blue he started flirting with me obviously and over the next few weeks told me that he had really strong feelings for me, never wanted to let me go again and all of that stuff. I was so pleased beyond belief and went slightly crazy in a teenage girl kind of way, but he knows me well. he knows im like that and he didnt seem to mind. I was a bit underconfident and i asked him if he still wanted to meet up nearer the date we had planned, he said yes and seemed really genuine. Then after the exams, one day he seemed to suddenly change his mind. I asked him and he said it wasnt a good idea and he said he didnt want to hurt me. I gave some speel about the fact he had already let me down and upset me but there wasnt much i could do about it etc. i really dont know why he changed his mind, im pretty sure there isnt anyone else .. i mean why would he go to all the effort of me if there was someone closer to home etc (we live quite far apart) im just realy confused about this literally overnight change of mind, when i hadnt done anything in that time to change it .. we hadnt argued, i hadnt been needy, been too suggestive .. we were both concerntrating on exams etc ..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Since the first time we got together, about a year; only a few weeks since the second time we were an item. We both have ahd on off feelings for each other - and we get on so well. Its just hard because we live far apart and are going even further next year for university. We get that its not going to work out, and i guess he must feel whats the point if its not going to work out. I just find it painful and i know he does too - but i guess i probably find it more painful.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

yes but he told me all of this .. he admitted it took him a very long time and that he was very hurt. He was the one that told me he still loved me, not me, i was happy with just being friends.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

yes but he told me all of this .. he admitted it took him a very long time and that he was very hurt. He was the one that told me he still loved me, not me, i was happy with just being friends.

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