A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi All, I recently dated lady that had been left by her husband after a 20 year marriage. We got on tremendously for 2 months, real fun and she was so keen!However, literally overnight, she has now gone "cold" on me and only wants friendship. As if hero to zero in 24 hours.She talks of having to move from the family home, her son and the start of her divorce process! I'm upset as I really liked her. Aunts and uncles...what happened here? Can anyone relate to this? I know she has a lot on but I'm still sad! Thank you all.
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female
reader, dearkelja  + ♥, writes (16 April 2008):
 I think she has a lot on her plate to deal with. She still has scars to heal from her marriage and she has to find a way to process all that has happened and all that will be happening. It is possible that she just can not be in a relationship while all of this turmoil is around her. The other issue is that she has a son who needs her and I can tell you that going through a divorce even my 15 year old clung to me and I needed to be sure I focused on her for a good chunk of time after her Dad moved out. I still am living in the marital home but have to move out when my daughter turns 18. I kind of feel like I'm in limbo and that isn't a good place to bring someone into.
I think you should give her some time. I bet things just moved too fast for her and she needed to take a breath. Give her some time and space and check back in a month or so.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (16 April 2008):
 It is a possibility that you are a rebound and you have moved
too fast and she is now pulling back to reassess the situation.
Give her some time and space to clear her head and sort out her personal problems.
Be there for her .
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): SheS emotionally all over the place. If you accept a friendship role, that is where you will remain as an emotional crutch whilst she dates other guys. Tell her your only interested in being her lover, and that your not going to sell yourself short. If she ends it so be it, i have a feeling she will be back, so give her that option if she changes her mind. But warn her you may have moved on by then.
Good luck D X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi,
See if I can add some more...we had planned a few theatre visits, i had seen all her friends, talked about going away on vacation in the future.
We had spent the weekend together, I had helped clear her loft(some of EX husbands things were there,) been shopping, had lunch etc.
We made love Saturday night,(she had a few "happy" tears), i left the following evening, thanked her.
following day she texted to say she was grumpy and wouldn't speak for 3 days.
was i a rebound? were we too fast? did she think we were married? scared of being hurt? not into me? thanks, all help really appreciated!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (16 April 2008):
Maybe she did not feel your commitment or your full emotional support for her.
Emotionally with her having to move house , she may feel
depressed and need greater emotional support from you.
This is only my speculation as there is not much info posted here.
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