A
female
age
30-35,
*onfusedlover10
writes:My ex bf of 3mths now has been texting me lately. we were together for a year. My girlfriend said that he's messing around with an old fling he had before him and I got together. She hits him...like, she's abusive and controlling And she put her hands on him. We knew each other longer, and we shared deep and emotional feelings together. All his guy friends were telling him that he was lucky to have me. He broke up with me b/c I was too attached. he text me little things just to have a conversation of which he always initiated contact. Ex. 1). he text me about a girls football game he attended. He hates sports and always said no when I asked him to watch me play flag football. Ex. 2). He text me and called me by my middle name which was a little thing we had between each other.Ex. 3). He text me just last night saying 'I Love You'.Why would he do this? Why would he go back to her?? Someone who doesn't care for him and just wants him as his toy, when he was a woman who'd break her back for him! I don't understand. help me please?!? What if he decides to come back to me?? Should I say no?
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 May 2015):
 Honestly, as MUCH as I detest violence in relationships HE is making this choice, you can't DO that for him even if all you want is for him to be happy and safe.
I agree with LikeIseeit, he isn't really ready for a FULL relationship and used the term "You was too attached" as an excuse to end it with you.
If he STILL texts/call you while he is WITH her, I'd tell him good luck and don't call/text no more - and THEN you block and delete his number. The longer YOU keep in contact with him the LONGER it will take for YOU to move on. The longer he will USE you as a CRUTCH while dating HER.
Don't take him back. IF he ends it with her AGAIN (like a total YO-YO) the ONLY reason he is trying it with YOU again is because he couldn't make "it" happen with her. He will then SETTLE for you till SHE wants another go or he finds greener grass.
Don't spend time speculating WHY he went back to her, it will drive you nuts.
FOCUS on your life and YOUR future.
And next time, don't date someone who you think you can "save" from himself or his ex. You can love someone with your whole being, with every fiber BUT IT WILL NOT change WHO they are.
A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (7 May 2015):
 Put simply, he doesn't sound like someone who is ready for a committed relationship. He wants to be able to mess around with one girl while texting and flirting with others, just like he's doing now. This other girl may be a completely awful person but she evidently gives him sexual favors without strings attached. Either she is okay with him texting you or he lies to her about it. Neither scenario says much about his ability to pick ONE woman and be faithful.
The fact that he prefers a violent partner and free effortless sex to someone who loves him but wants an exclusive relationship with him speaks volumes about which head he is currently thinking with. (Hint: it's not the one on his shoulders.)
Don't take him back. Odds are he's just telling you what you want to hear, hoping you are lonely/nostalgic/desperate enough to sleep with him even though you two are broken up. But even if he claims to want another relationship with you, how good is the word of a guy who broke up with you, went right to someone else, and is now texting sweet nothings behind her back too?
Let this fish wash back out to sea, because he sounds like a pretty lousy catch.
Best wishes :)
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