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Why isn't my husband looking for a job to pay off his bills?

Tagged as: Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 July 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 29 July 2010)
A female United States age , *issMoneyBags writes:

i think i made a mistake getting married. how stupid could i be? i own my own home, have a great job; we dated for 16 years. after the marriage, i rented out my house and moved in with him. i discovered he had a box full of credit card bills and other bills that were all unopened and unpaid. i mean a "huge pile" of bills. he has convinced himself that in this economy there are no jobs so he doesn't even look. he is a commercial lobsterman with his own boat, but the price is down and the catch is down. he barely makes enough money to break even, never mind pay any bills. i have taken over trying to manage his bills and get them paid, but i just don't know where the money is supposed to come from. i don't think it should be my job to pay for his credit card debt. i have my own small bills that i am responsible for from before i got married. i'm overwhelmed by this and don't know how to proceed. he borrowed $1,000 from me to pay his mortgage last month and said he would pay me back; but he hasn't. now he is saying he needs another $1,000 for the boat mooring - and i think he expects i am going to pay for that, too. there have been other things. we do love each other and are happy together -it's just the money thing that is driving me crazy. I can't understand why he is not looking for some type of work to pay off these bills??? it just blows my mind!

View related questions: debt, money, moved in

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A female reader, Moo's Mum New Zealand +, writes (29 July 2010):

Moo's Mum agony auntIt's a tricky one now that you are married since technically his bills become yours once that piece of paper is signed. However you have options here. Give your renter notice and move back into your own house and sell his to recoup some money to pay his bills with. Call the crediters and give them HIS number and aske them to call him to sort out payments. Sell his boat and fishing quota and tell him he can't move in with you until he gets a job. Harsh but he needs a wake-up call.

I'm sure you will get there with this but it's going to take some work. You might also consider talking to a fiancial adviser to see what their suggestions are.

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