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Why isnt he replying the date is 3 days away

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 November 2016) 8 Answers - (Newest, 11 November 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have arranged a date with a man i know ( we dont see each other out its more of a facebook friendship ) the date is set for this weekend . I have messaged him to confirm times and place to meet but he hasnt replied for a week ! why would someone be excited and all up for the date to then go quiet ? He doesnt have the date or the girl YET so why would he go quiet on me ? no point saying message a question reminding him as i know he just reads the message then ignores and doesnt reply hes 36 . I just plan on sitting quiet until friday then if ive heard nothing cut my losses and move on . Why do people behave like this any ideas ?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2016):

Im the op . Im not a puppet master if they behave the way they do it isnt because i let them . From day 1 i let people know not to mess me about and if they do theyll know ill be gone . He was told if i dont hear from him i will never speak to him again , he hasnt spoken to me so therefore i will not be speaking to him again . Time is short im not wasting it on people like him . Thanks everyone for your advice

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2016):

Well, if you see that he's read your message but chose to not reply/ignore you, then I wouldn't message him and make other plans. He owes you the courtesy of a reply.. whether it be he's still not sure or he's got other plans, or whatever, he needs to let you know.

To be honest, when I first chatted with my BF online and he wanted to meet, I was very scared and hesitant. Sure, I wanted to meet him and told him that, but inside I thought up a million reasons why I shouldn't meet him. Had he not come to my door and rang the doorbell, convincing me to open the door for him, we wouldn't have been together today, for three years now, and I would not have had the opportunity to be a part of his wonderful and loving family, vice versa.

My point is, try to give him the benefit of the doubt, even when it seems unlikely. Maybe he's a scaredy cat like me :)

Good luck!

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (10 November 2016):

BrownWolf agony aunt

"Why do people behave like this any ideas ?"

Because other people let them. Like you...Here you are waiting patiently for someone who is not showing interest in you.

Max for me is 3 days...then good bye and unfriend. I like to do gardening with the people in my life. I pull up and get rid of all the weeds, but keep the people that are like flowers.

Time to be a gardener.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (10 November 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt No way I would wait until Friday, I would colour him gone right now.

One week is more than enough to make up his mind and / or to pit together some sort of an answer. At the very least, he could have replied a vague but polite, " Sorry, I can't confirm yet, I am afraid we'll have to sort of play it by ear if that's ok with you " leaving YOU the choice if risking a last minute cancellation or making other plans altogether.

The reason why he does this... we'd need a crystal ball to know it. The most probable, I think, is that he is playing on different tables, and waiting till the very last minute in case something better pans out.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (9 November 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntHe is showing no interest at all, even if he did reply now I would tell him you have made other arrangements. You don't want to be seen as the girl who sits around waiting for a guy. Start as you mean to go on. If he is treating you like this now and you allow it, then it will only get worse. Show him you are more confident than that and if he contacts you ignore him or simply say sorry busy. That will teach him to leave you hanging again.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 November 2016):

Honeypie agony aunt

He hasn't replied because he is still weighing his options. He might not have other plans by Saturday and suggest the meetup or ask for a rain-check if he has something "better" going on.

Or he doesn't REALLY want to meet up in person.

I think you should make other plans and IF he contacts you, let him know you presumed he wasn't keen on the date so you made other plans. Basically show him that you WERE NOT sitting on your hands waiting for the date with him, that YOU have a life.

He will either make new plans with you with a date,time or place or get upset - if he gets upset.. ppst well, that is on him. If he makes concrete plans then you can decide IF you want to do that or not.

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A female reader, singinbluebird United States +, writes (9 November 2016):

singinbluebird agony auntNo reply in 3 days? Its easy as cake. Cut your losses and move on. No pain no gain.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2016):

Because he's an inconsiderate weasel, that's why!

You did your part. In fact, you did well more than expected.

Now, ignore him.

He is not worth chasing after.

He is NOT the only guy on the planet.

Personally, I would be repulsed and turned right off by a guy who is so wishy washy and indecisive. It speaks volumes without saying a word.

He is not interested.

He might have thought it was a good idea at the time but he changed his mind. Who knows why? Cold feet. Another woman. Personal issues. Laziness. Fear. Anything. Since he ignores you, chances are he will never tell you!

You know he sees your messages and does not reply. What else do you need to know? That's enough, isn't it?

I suggest going out with friends on Friday! Have a good time and fuck him! And while you're at it, keep your eyes peeled for a REAL MAN!

Men who are interested go out of their way to get in touch. Reply to your messages. Better yet, they initiate them! They go out of their way to arrange the date and they STICK with it come hell or high water.

Release this fish back in his pond. Let him get away.

You can do much better!

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