A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend has an issue with my mom cos my mom and her mom are not exactly the same. She has no respect for my mom and swears at her, it hurts me cos im in the middle, if i keep my mouth shut my girlfriend says that i dont stand up for her at all.i love my girlfriend alot cos we are 3 years together but she keeps looking for mistakes that my family might have caused even if it does no involve her.Recently she gave me a choice to choose between my mom and her and i just cud not cos i felt that it was a really stupid question. Because i did not choose she broke up with me and said that my family is not right for her and she does not like them. Why do i have to choose?Please help........
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male
reader, martini  +, writes (7 February 2007):
 In short, you're a lot better off without such an unrefined person such as her. Even if she is an important person in your life, and that importance has fathomless boundaries, she should well know that you cannot simply choose between the two. It is unjust. That is, if she is mature in the first place.
I know it's more difficult than action, but I seriously suggest you just let her go. She has a very negative complex that won't bode well for you in the seasons to come, especially if you ever plan getting married, and having a family. Imagine that... [sighs]
A
female
reader, Irish49 + ♥, writes (7 February 2007):
 You don't have to choose, hun. Wow! Your gf was an angry young woman, by the sounds of it. The very least you could've expected was that she be decent and respect your Mother.Here's what I think. I feel either this gf was never been taught manners on how to respect others or she was one sad excuse for a gf. To me, disrespecting your Mother was a clear-choice she had made and this alone tells me-she may have some unseemly character traits that could've been alarming you...a lot, when she first started all this toxic crap. Family is precious and your gf could've realized she's wasn't in the bargaining position here, to see who deserves more respect. This is your parent-it could've been automatic. She could've been working hard to earn respect from your Mother, and most good women would have been trying their utmost. Did she not understand the sacrifices, the unconditional love, the nuturing, the support and guidance your Mother had given you-that helped you become the wonderful person your are today? Sigh...basically the problem was yours and I am sorry for your sadness, but now that your gf has pulled the pin, the trouble has resolved itself. Heal, recover and move on,dear. And next time, don't put your family through this grief and bring unsavory gf's home. Remember to choose wisely and discern who is good for you and your future.
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A
male
reader, realm  +, writes (6 February 2007):
 I wish that you were the one to break up with her. She has no right to come in your families circle of trust and swear at your mom. How dare she disrespect your mom and expect you to do the same. What a bitch to make you do such a thing. It is going to give you heart ache but you mom deserves much more than a women that wants you to disown her. Family and love is hard to mix because the ingredients and results go to a point of no point. Just take your time to reflect it is hard but for the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2007): Find a girl that will love you and your family. Good Luck :)
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