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Why is she behaving like this with her new guy when she never did with me? And will she ever come back to me?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 March 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 30 March 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Alright so im new to this but here we go. I dated a girl for a month treated her very well as all my friends said always was there for her. I always sent good morning text's. I left her video messages on her facebook. We didn't get to see each other on halloween so i brought her in candy. I never talked to any other girl other than her. She always told me i treated her the best ever. I told her i didn't want to have sex with her till i could look her in the eyes and tell her "i love you" This girls past is insane with the running back to her ex and what not.

So it was close to our one month and i wanted to spoil her and show her that i care about her. So i gave her a dinnner at my house and i took her to the movies. She broke up with me a week later. We were going through a rough patch but i wasn't gonna give up she told me that things were going so well but don't give up on her. She broke up with me two days later and i was destroyed. I finally try for someone and it ends early. So i go no contact for four or five days and i break it because she is destroyed. I told her that i gave her four days without me in your life and for her to see what life would like to be without me. I eventually let her come back and we were working on things.

One day we were in my car kissing and she told me she was hanging with this guy and not to worry hes nothing and not to worry but i worry when they say not to worry. So that night i got pissed cuz i was going through a hard time and she made me feel like ****. I blew her off cuz her messaged pretty much read go **** yourself find someone who cares. So i was like **** it then we fought some more and i was like this is terrible i don't want to hurt her i just want her to be happy. So i took her to dinner a week later and we had fun we kissed at the end of the night and she told me she would text me later. She never did and i was kinda pissed but it was what it was. So i helped her with one of her classes and she said all this good stuff and said she wanted to hang on thurs. I was tired so i went to bed and the i called her and she didn't answer and so on till thurs. Thursday came around and i was like i take it were not going and she was like we didn't make plans and im like you didn't pick up your phone.

So she went no contact. TIll my friend sent me a message asking if my ex was dating and to look at this pic and he sent me a photo of her kissing another guy on the cheek. I was so p.o. it wasn't even funny and the sad thing was it was with the guy she said there was nothing there. So i did digging cuz i care and everyone told me hes a manipulator and a dbag and a scumbag. I left a message which i shouldn't and she took it the wrong way and told me to **** myself and that i had no business which she was right but i just wanted her to tell me that she liked him so i could move on and know there was nothing there. So classes started up again and i ignored her and was happy as hell. She saw this and texted me i know this is random but i hope your doing well and to tell me that she didn't have a problem with me. I didn't respond then my friend told me he ran into her and she was like hey and then she asked how he was doing she asked him how she was doing than asked if he still lifted with me and how i was doing. He of course told her i was doing good. I was in awe cuz it was really weird so i was like whatever. So like she would walk behind me and stuff during class. She made the photo of her and that guy her photo and she never did that when she was with me. She made an album of him playing his sport and made that the only thing publically.

Im just wondering why? Im just wondering if she will ever come back cuz everyone says im something worth coming back to.

View related questions: broke up, facebook, her ex, kissing, move on, my ex, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

the problem is im one of those guys who is just genuinely happy. Before we started dating she still had thoughts about going back to her ex but really liked me and told me she wanted to try us. A day after we broke up i found out she hung out with him i flipped. I was like why and she told me hes going through a hard time i was like wow. She's one of those girls who says something and does the other. So i know i couldn't believe her i just want her to learn a lesson to not give up on a good guy who will treat her right. I've started seeing this girl and i told her that if she has a problem to talk to me. I liked this girl before i started dating my ex but she stoped talking to me because of her ex.

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (30 March 2011):

Jmtmj agony auntDon't be such a doormat! Seriously, the whole nice guy thing that you've got happening right now ISN'T what she's after in a guy. She's got you on a hook, her new guy probably has her on a hook, her new guy is probably on his ex's hook, hell, even you may have had some girl on your hook in the past. Why am I thinking about pirates? My point I guess is that she's got you on a hook, (aka. platonic, no interest in a future relationship, using.)

Yeah she may have liked you, but she doesn't now. If she does still like you, she still doesn't like you as much as her new guy. Either way, she's just not worth chasing bro. First love sucks balls when it fails, but you'll come out of this with a few qualities that you'll want to look for in your next girlfriend...three off the top of my head:

A girl who genuinely enjoys being around you.

A girl who isn't going to break up with you constantly.

A girl who won't string you along on a hook.

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A female reader, sugar rayx United Kingdom +, writes (30 March 2011):

Pffft forget about her

Shes playing you

She doesnt care

Shes just trying to keep her options open

She couldnt care if she hurts you or this other guy as long as shes happy

Go find someone else who deserves you n forget about her x

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A female reader, meldana United States +, writes (30 March 2011):

Hon, you sound like a sweet guy and you deserve someone better. This girl sounds pretty young and if any and if your discription of the guy is true then she's gonna learn pretty quickly that Bad Boys are bad for a reason. If I were you I would just take some time off away from dating and just have fun yourself.

As for why she's treating the guy better than you and placing the photos on FB.... it's to make you jealous. I would just block her and ignore her for a bit. In truth, she sounds like a really big C U Next Tuesday type of gal and you are better off from not thinking about her or looking for her.

Now last question... Would you want her to come back? (I would recommend saying no but hey that's me) She's proven that she's not trust worthy but if you think that by getting hurt in the end will change her. (which it sometimes does change a person; either for better or worse there will be a change)

Hon, move on with your life. Ignore the bitch and find someone worthy of your attention

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