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Why is my old school friend chasing me on the net, he's married

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 February 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 14 February 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Okay, so this guy I've known since high school and fell in love with, but we only went on one date and slept in the same bed one night spooning, started AIMing me the other night. I haven't really talked to him in two years, and since then, he has gotten married. I still have feelings for him. He told me on AIM that he had a bet with this friend that he could get a girl to have cyber sex with him on AIM before 10:00. I replied saying that although I would love to help him out, I just don't do that. We talked and he went on to say that I was the only one he'd want to cyber with anyway. Then he told me that the night I stayed with him back in high school and spooned with him was the best sleep he's ever had.

All the old feelings I have for him are back and are torturing me. What is with these mixed signals? Is he just bored with his marriage? Or is he regreting that me and him never got into a close relationship and he is expressing that now?

View related questions: fell in love

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for all the replies. It really helped me to get a perspective on the situation. I used to think this guy was one of the most genuine people I've met, but I was seriously wrong. I'm beginning to think he is demented.lol. Yeah, I'm just going to ignore any advances he makes, not because I care about his wife, who is kind of a bitch btw, but I don't deserve to be used. Especially by a guy I trusted. This situation has taught me to better respect myself instead of being seduced by a bored husband. Thanks again.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008):

Hi,

Yeah he may have feelings for you and you might for him but think about his wife. You would hate it if your husband cheated on you, so would she! i personally think you should try and ignore him because his wife would be upset if he found out hes talking to you about that over the internet. i hope this helps.

Love Hannah

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A male reader, Frank B Kermit Canada +, writes (13 February 2008):

Frank B Kermit agony auntWhy is he writing you?

1-To win a bet

2-To get sex from you.

If you want a deeper meaning, I would surmise that he is using the excuse of the bet to get to have sex with you.

You are being played by a married man.

-Frank B Kermit

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (13 February 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntHe never had the chance to get off his chest.Treat what he said as hot air and nothing else.He is married. Period!

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A male reader, Kawika United States +, writes (13 February 2008):

Kawika agony auntI'm glad you stuck to your morals. What a loser. Sorry, but I think he's demented. Considering that you are pondering this question, you are a better person than he is. He doesn't deserve your time.

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (13 February 2008):

Collaroy agony auntHi,

what a wonderful guy , it was so nice of him to try and win his bet with his mate with you, it really shows how much he thinks of you doesn't it. And the answer to that question is he thinks you are a piece of arse who he might just be able to score with without his wife finding out.

People who get married so young I find are so much more tempted to stray as the years go by, they look at all their friends who are still single going to clubs or hanging out with friends whooping it up and wonder what they are missing.

Don't let this guy use you as his bit on the side. You asked about the pyschology of it? There isnt any, he is bored and wants to cheat on his wife. It is as simple as that.

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