New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Why is my husband playing games? I feel like crying when he does these things to me.

Tagged as: Health, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 March 2013) 6 Answers - (Newest, 3 March 2013)
A female Australia age 51-59, anonymous writes:

My husband is very manipulative.

If I'm listening to my music, and I walk out of the room to do something (like the washing). I'll come back in and find my music has been turned off. The lights are off.

I ask him, what are you doing?

His reply is, "I don't know what your talking about,

You weren't in there."

Of course I was in the room. I was just in there! I went out to do the washing!!!

I feel like crying.

What can I do?

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, when nothing goes right go left United Kingdom +, writes (3 March 2013):

when nothing goes right go left agony auntHe's either being selfish and not really thinking about how you feel or he knows how you feel and is doing it for control or he is just doing it to

irritate you. So you need to tell him how you feel about and he will either realise and try and stop or he will continue to do it and if he does then you need to ask yourself if you really want to stay with someone who will

treat you badly.

Hope this helps.

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (3 March 2013):

CindyCares agony auntHe does this...because he is a sensible person ? .. Frugal and ecologically minded ?

What's the point of keeping the lights on and electric appliances working , when you aren't there ? Why keeping bills , and energy consumptions, up- when you don't need to ? ..It's not even like you went, say, for a superquick dash in the loo - you went to do the washing, must have taken you a few minutes at least ?... Would you live the water from a tap flowing for no reason ten minutes while you are in another room ?...

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (3 March 2013):

Honeypie agony auntUm why leave the light and music on when you can see or hear it? That seems rather wasteful.

Now he may not think you would notice it, but honestly if I am in the house and hubby leave his music blaring and leaves the room not to come back within a few min, I TURN it down or off too.

Could be he doesn't share you taste in music, could be he just doesn't like things being left on.

I'm not quite sure why this is making you cry.

Next time just turn the lights out and the music down when you leave the room to do the laundry or whatever.

I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (3 March 2013):

Aunty BimBim agony auntHas he always tried to conserve electricity? Are you bills much higher than usual?

If you don't think this could be the cause, has his behaviour changed in other ways, could it be part of the aging process, how long since he had a thorough checkup?

Have you tried talking to him about it, not when it happens but maybe over dinner, you could say " you know, when you do blah blah blah I get really upset'. He may not realise what he is doing.

You could try blu tacking a little sign over the CD player's on/off switch and also the wall switch saying "HANDS OFF, I'M NOT DONE YET" and if he still switches them off then consider seeking counselling or even leaving if you believe he is doing it deliberately to upset you.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, ThinkingOverdrive United Kingdom +, writes (3 March 2013):

Why would that make you want to cry? He's probably just trying to save electricity... If you go out to do the washing, you're probably around 10 minutes or more - it's quite reasonable for him to pass by the room, see that you're not in there and that the lights/ music are on, and switch them off because they aren't being used.

I think you're overreacting, if that's all he's doing it doesn't sound like he's trying to be manipulative at all...

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2013):

Is he trying to save money on electricity? Do he like the music you listen to, or does he find it irritating?

I think there is an aspect to this that you are not considering. He probably plays stupid because he doesn't want to argue with you. My fiance was livid when I told him I disliked his music settings. He would adjust the trebel to unbearable levels and play old punk and ska loudly. He was angry with me for *years* over this because he thought I hated his music and not the loud ear shattering trebel.

Music can be a very touchy subject. Everyone likes different things and feels very strongly about what they do and do not like musically. Find put how he feels about your music. If he really doesn't like it, buy some headphones or earbuds as a compromise.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Why is my husband playing games? I feel like crying when he does these things to me. "

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312650000014401!