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Why is my girlfriend lying to me?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 December 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 1 January 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Okay, so I have a situation where I can hardly ever trust my girlfriend.

We've been together for almost 2 years and I still findit hard to believe her. Sometimes she'll tell me she's busy at work, but then if I call her up 5 minutes later, I can hear her brother in the background, and he's always at home. Another issue is MySpace and Facebook. I tend to look at her profile for updates randomly and everytime I look, there are more and more friends added and half of them are guys. I confronted her and she said they're all just friends and she barely knows them that well. No big deal. Soon after if I start talking about it, she talks about how much fun they have together and stuff.

Once, I accessed her e-mail on the two sites and saw a plethora of e-mails and comments from these guys asking about bongs, weed, relationship, etc. When we first started going out, she and I made a promise. I would stop drinking alcohol and she would stop drugs. I kept my promise, I never liked the taste anyway. Now, whenever I say good night to her, I sit up thinking of all those guys and drugs and wonder what she's keeping from me and why she's doing it.

Also, she and I share every secret between us, but lately she's keeping things away from me. Some stuff that she used to talk about, she seems to hide it and won't tell me. I have to find out from her friends which she claims she "barely knows" them, but won't tell her own boyfriend?

Can anyone give me some answers to this? I love her very much and I care a lot, but I can't trust her at all.

View related questions: at work, drugs, facebook, myspace

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010):

Thanks guys. It wasn't always like this. It all started half a year ago when her family got in trouble with the police. She barely ever talks about it with me, but her friends know all about it. I just feel like I'm not doing something because she's keeping these things from me. Isn't a boyfriend supposed to comfort his girlfriend? I love her a lot, and she says she loves me too, and I tell her she can say anything to me and I will never think differently. I just don't get why she lies to me about it.

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A female reader, QuirkLady United States +, writes (31 December 2009):

QuirkLady agony auntIf you feel the need to constantly check up on her and hack into her email the relationship is already broken.

Move on and find someone you can love and trust instead of spending all this mental energy worrying.

Good luck.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (31 December 2009):

person12345 agony auntShe clearly has no respect for you. Move on before she lies to you about something more major, like cheating.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009):

why is irrelevant, that she is is all that matters- dump her.

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A male reader, Advice_man United States +, writes (31 December 2009):

Advice_man agony auntI think your girlfriend has issues and insecurities that have nothing to do with you. All these indicate a person who craves for attention. She tries to create a fake image around her self, i.e "I am a busy person, and look how popular i am in facebook, I have a lot of friends and guys are all over me".Cheers!

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (31 December 2009):

Move on, because she's not that into you anymore.

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (31 December 2009):

RAINORFIRE agony auntShes young and bored with your boring relation ship.

thats all

break up with her, she has lost all respect for you, she doesnt take the relation ship serious there dozens of guys drooling over her so why should she, shes keeping her options open if she isnt allready cheating,, your either not having sex with her or its whack she doesnt have mutch of a reason to make the relation ship exclusive.

Dump her let her come crawling back if she doesnt then she didnt want you any way. your mind is wondering to mutch you will never be satisfied with this chick at best if you can keep her as a friend with benefits.

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