A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys just want to know your veiws on my situation. Right my partner works in a pub at night everytime she goes to work she has this one bloke who wont leave her alone always saying how nice her arse is and that he will get her he has even seen a picture of me on her phone and said to hr what she doing with an ugly guy like me she says she told him to f.off but she still talks to him she has now told me today that she has given him mine and her bank card and pin number to go get her some food. Am i wrong to be angry at her cuz as soon as she told me i felt sick and angry and betrayed plus i dont kno him and she only serves him at the pub why is she and him getting close? Should i be worryed that they might be falling for each other? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2017): Well, obviously this sleazeball has enough money to frequent the pub your GF works at on the regular and enough money to indulge himself in booze and tips for the waitresses. So, why the heck does he even need any financial assistance from your GF or anyone else? If he was that hard up for food, then maybe he should stay away from buying himself drinks and tipping waitresses all the time!!
My guess is this guy is an expert, well practised player/charmer whose game is becoming a regular in pubs, eventually working his game on esutrsses, trying his way to getting sex or money or both from whatever naive girl takes the bait! That was your GF. Hook, line and sinker! This guy has some mad manipulation skills!
Your GF betrayed your relationship and trust. When he started with the come on's, she should have shut him down. And kept shutting him down. Forever. But she didn't. She took it even further by giving him personal banking information which was not her right to do! That is betrayal and so is the emotional affair she has been having with this low life sponger!
I agree with the others. Go to the bank straight away and change your PIN number and open a separate account in your name that only you have access to. Close the existing account. This guy has no right to go into your bank account!!! And your GF has shit for brains to do something so idiotic!
I have guys hit on me all the time. I am a fitness instructor. I have a BF I LOVE. I have made it clear to all of them to back off. They don't stand a chance. I am consistent and firm and unwavering. Eventually they get the message. Not only thru words but most importantly thru actions. Her actions speak loud and clear. She has crossed the line. She has disrespected you and your relationship. Sorry. :( But a woman who loves and respects you would not do this to you. She's under this guy's spell. Who knows why? It's up to you now if you will allow her to continue walking all over you.
Sorry you have to go through this. Her behaviour frankly is quite brutal.
A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate  +, writes (5 August 2017):
If your girlfriend gives your bank card and pin to another guy her falling for each other is the least of your worries. Call your bank and cancel your cards and find yourself another girlfriend because yours has has found another boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2017): Wtf is she doing giving a guy she knows from a pub a bank card and PIN?!
Up until that point, I was thinking perhaps she's just a bit naive and being friendly for her job or whatever but giving him her bank card and access to both of your money is downright stupid, disrespectful to your guys relationship and looks suspicious as to how close her and this guy are.
Cancel that card, set your own bank account up, transfer your money out and get it changed ASAP that any wages or payments that go into that account go into your own personal account and any bills of yours change to your own account. If I were you I would probably then also tell her that the relationship is over because she's crossed a line. Having boundaries with other people when you're in a relationship is basic respect to the person your with and I'd feel like she crossed them, whether or not anything is going on between them she hasn't acted in a way that looks like it's just a friend through work. I wouldn't even give a friend my bank card and PIN, and it's fraud for someone to use another person's bank card.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (3 August 2017):
 Is your GF a total idiot?
Sorry, if that is too blunt but who in their RIGHT mind gives someone their bank card and pin number?
I agree with BimBim CANCEL the card. ASAP.
She is "friendly" with this guy because it SUITS her. SHE gets something out of it. Whether it's attention an ego rub or just to make you feel insecure in your relationship or to make you jealous.
Some people aren't HAPPY unless they have drama in their lives. Sounds like your girl is one of those.
Do they have loadable visa cards in the UK? If so, maybe she should get one of those for her "lunch/dinner" money so she doesn't RISK your/hers entire income to some dude at a BAR.
I have to ask are you the OP who is the "stay at home dad"?
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (3 August 2017):
 Giving out personal information like that is NEVER ok. Honestly it's never ok. I think that your gf is getting a bit too close to this guy because if she didn't like the attention and she was creeped out, surely she wouldn't have given him you guys' personal information. What is she thinking!? that's really dangerous and careless.
It actually makes me question your girl on a whole. Like what is her level of thinking if she can give some creep who hits on her constantly, such personal information?! Man, I don't know. I wouldn't just be asking the question in your title heading right now if I were you, I'd be questioning my entire relationship with this woman.
Sort the card thing out and then talk to your woman. Assess your relationship and go from there.
Do as Aunty BimBim has stated and get that card cancelled. You cannot and should not have a random guy have such details. Like seriously.
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A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (3 August 2017):
 I am total with aunty BimBim bank card and pin number, she is more than stupid,
Cancel the card yesterday, if the bank finds out someone else got their hands on your card and pin you would not be covered if anything was taking
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (3 August 2017):
 Who cares if they are falling for each other, my main concern in your situation would be that she gave him your bank card and pin number .... WTF. Go to the bank, or phone them right now, and cancel that card.
Anybody who gives some random their bank card and pin is a brainless twerp in my opinion and c'mon, do you really want to be in a relationship with a woman who is so careless with your security and money.
Cancel the card, separate your finances and then weigh up your options.
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