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Why is my ex calling me and hurting me when he doesn't want us to be together?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 February 2013) 5 Answers - (Newest, 18 February 2013)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid

My bf broke up with me few days back, he called me today, i thought he is gonna give this relationship another chance took his call, stupid of me.

He said as far as he is concerned i dont exist and cut the call. Why does he have to call me again and hurt me like this. I didnt contact him after he broke up with me, then why is he hurting me again.

I feel so sick to my stomach. Am i that repulsive that he wants to hurt me again and again. Please help me

View related questions: broke up, my ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2013):

He is hurting like crazy and the only way he will be able to cope right now is to try to imagine you never happened. He must be hurting in such a way, that he has lost some self control. By you not contacting him, you have done the right thing, and he probably thinks you don't care that you broke up, that is hurting him more. Sounds like you want to try again. My bets are on, that, if you continue not to contact him, he will be in touch again soon, when he has calmed down, and will probably want to see you. Decide now if you really want to try again. If you have broken up more than once, I suggest you don't try again. If you have broken up over something silly...then find a way not to play these silly hurtful games. Let us know what happens.

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A female reader, tibob Mauritius +, writes (18 February 2013):

tibob agony auntThis shows that he's very disturbed with your break up. After break ups the first feeling that people feel is anger. You did not say the reason you broke up. Maybe he thinks that you are responsible for the break up. He's angry that's all and wants to show you that he can be fine without you.

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A male reader, justaguy71 Australia +, writes (18 February 2013):

What an asshole, he breaks up with you and then rubs it in your face again? What a jerk, try to find someone nicer.

Oh, and he didnt like the fact you didnt contact him when he broke up, thats why he called you again, to try to hurt u some more because it looked like you didnt care that he broke up with you, you are better without him.

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (18 February 2013):

Honeygirl agony auntSorry that this is happening to you. Your ex sounds like he is hurting and by by contacting you and hurting you with words.

Block his number on your mobile. Find someone to chat to, someone you can trust and chat to them about how you are feeling.

You deserve to be treated better to dont look back, look forward.

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A male reader, IHateWomanBeaters United States +, writes (18 February 2013):

IHateWomanBeaters agony auntHaha, you might not believe me, but you have nothing to worry about when it comes to being repulsive :)

Remember when they said to you as a kid that if someone hurts you they like you? It doesn't mean beating you up and what not.

What it means is they break up with you because they were frustrated or insecure with themselves and, through rationalization, they turn it around on you and make you feel bad.

They feel bad and screwed over for losing someone like you.

They want you to feel the same.

Take his silliness as a compliment to you.

He is saying, "I am very upset for losing you".

However, he is doing it in an abusive way, to bring you down with him.

You have nothing to worry about ok?

If you can make a man so upset, without even talking to him, for his breaking up with you that he has to twist the proverbial knife he thinks he stuck into you, then I want to date you! lol

It means you are a catch.

Find some better fish in the massive dating sea that is at your disposal.

-Ihatewomanbeaters

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