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Why is my coworker blanking me and what should I do about it?

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Question - (1 April 2018) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 April 2018)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I’ve beem in my job 21 months.

Like it.

90% colleagues younger.

I’m a worker, not a boss or manager.

I’m fine with this. Not all of us are meant to be bosses..

90% managers and my boss are younger. 2 are older, one my age.

I have no issue with younger bosses and can work with, and say hi and bye to most of them, and can chat to some of them.

Most say hi and bye and don’t want to chat to an “older person”, I’m happy to chat to anyone.

I’m older but young at heart, stil I’m older.

Like my job and am always polite and professional, never gossip etc..

There’s this 26 yr old woman who initially spoke to me and said hi. Small talk etc..

This lasted a few months then she began to not say hi, walk past

Me and ignore me “blank me” and speak to others etc.

No argument or fight, she was nice as I was New..

Now she’s her true self.. rude..

She sees me as not worth speaking to and as invisible.and old.

She’s a Very rude woman.

Now I don’t say a formal hi to her or make small talk as she totally ignores me, she’s got a big ego and is super cliquey and popular with a few others. No big deal, work is work and if i have to talk regarding work, I do.

I chat to those who want to.

Should I still try to say hi and chat to this rude woman?

Everyone likes her,, I don’t.. she’s rude and gives me zero.

Asking her why isn’t an option..it just isn’t, it’d cause more awkwardness and may mAke it worse.

So what can I do?

Be professional as I have been?

Thanks

View related questions: my boss

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (3 April 2018):

Dionee' agony auntAvoid work related politics and leave her be. You're older and hopefully more wise so let it be. Be the professional that you are and get the job done... leave small talk with this woman; out. She doesn't need to be accommodated for and that's just the way I see it. By the sound of it, she has enough 'friends' in the office to distract her from the non existent connection that you two have.

Cheer up. Show up and work. That's all that's required of you.

Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2018):

You're the older and more mature one of the two. Younger folks are fresh out of college and have to outgrow their high school-mentality. So do you!

You don't have to be friends. She's a co-worker. Leave it at that.

Sometimes you are fortunate enough to have a work-environment where you can move freely between generations. Unfortunately that isn't the case for you; so your maturity and professionalism compensates for her lack of manners and inexperience.

She's not likely to stick around that job as long as you have. So all you're required to do is get along and wear your work-face.

People are ageist and cliquish; therefore, you rise above their ignorance. Set the proper example and be professional, polite, and dignified. You're not her age, and she's quite aware of it. She doesn't want to be chummy with you.

So what? Let her be rude. You're the one who knows better.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (1 April 2018):

Honeypie agony aunt

Some people never mentally leave high school.

Would I still say hi to her? If the situation calls for it. There is no need to be as rude as her.

Not everyone is going to like you and you aren't going to like every you meet. But since you HAVE manners, you also know that acting like HER is not the way to go.

You can be professional and ignore her behavior. I wouldn't "reward" the rudeness with trying to do small talk with her. I don't care if she is popular or not.

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