A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello there,I am 32 years old and my coworker is 41 years old. We starred to talk around January only at work then we found out that we live 8 minutes away from each other. Our days off rotate and march 16th him and I set the date to go to lunch and asked other officers and they said they can not make it so we are the only two went out for lunch . We have so much in common and everytime we talk at work, we start laughing and have so much fun. He told me on that day, march 16th, out of sudden, he was engaged but sadly they broke up and i didnt question him. Then we went for another 2 date. I dont say date cause everyone pays its own food. Also next week, we are going to grab a drink. He told me at work, why she broke up but he said they cut the contacts and i didnt question when they broke up. Here and there, he always bring her name. He said i have sense of humor and that i am crazy like him and he loves it. I also told him my ex. But we never really told what kind of person we like. I really dont know if he likes me or sees me close friend. And also his friend, gave a birth and made him to be godfother. They are very close. Eventhough she gave a birth a week ago, she is taking him to his birthday dinner and also when she was at the hospital, she got sick and my guy, coworker wanted to take days off to take care of her. I asked him if she is married. She said she has boyfriend and live at the same house but i dont know if girl or my coworker likes each other. How can a person take care of someone who just gave a birth instead of baby’s father? Isnt babys fater need to take care of her?
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at work, broke up, co-worker, engaged, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2018): You're building too much drama. Give yourself a break.
Just remember, he's a grown-man and can take care of himself.
From what you've explained about what you did; I don't see why you're making such a big deal of this?
There's one problem I do see. Placing yourself in the middle of his business is stirring the pot. Keep out of their friendship, and concern yourself with yours.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShould i talk to him before his friend talks? It might be better to hear from me first since he trusted me? I will never make the same mistake. Do you think will he stop hanging out with me since i snitched?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2018): Told ya! You're coming-off too protective and getting too much into his business. Now you're all upset. Just relax! You're making a mountain out of a mole-hill and creating drama.
Calm yourself down, and let the men work it out. Stop trying to angle and control things from the back-seat. If you didn't stick your nose where it didn't belong, you'd be alright.
It will all workout if you'd settle-down; and stop micro-managing and manipulating things, while trying to get yourself a boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 May 2018):
 Honestly I think you are over thinking this situation way to much and worrying over nothing. They are adult men and if they get offended by words so easily let them sort it out themselves. You are right you should not get involved.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can not get over with this and can not sleep for few days. I and him were hanging out at the bar and i sent his picture drinking to our mutual friend. Mutual friend knows we are all friends and invited him to the bar to join us but he said he is working and going home after work. By thr way my guy is thr one asked me to send a pic of him. Then our mutual friend texted me and i and him were reading text. Our mutual friend called him” he is my drinking buddy” my guy was very upset about this and said he thought he would more than that and they have known each other for 8 years. I told him between usNext day, i and mutual guy were at work and he brought it up again and i had to step up since my guy was not there and told him not to tell drinking buddy in front of him and that he got offended. I should have never said that cause it wasnt my business. All i did was protect him. Now our mutual friend wants to talk to him. I can not sleep. I know i made a mistake. Should i talk to my friend first? I know he will not trust me anymore and not hamg out with me anymore. What should i do? I screwed up
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (20 April 2018):
 There can be many reasons as to why.
If he is single (which is seems like he is) I don't really see the problem in caring for a friend who just had a baby. The father of the child might work away from home, deployed or otherwise NOT able to do this for her.
I also agree with Aunt honesty. He seems to be looking for a friend more than to DATE you. While he has complimented you on your personality he has also brought up the ex a lot, which quite often means he isn't over the split.
And again, I agree that looking to DATE a coworker may not be the smartest thing either.
I say keep it platonic. Keep it professional.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2018): You said he was made the baby's godfather; so he is fulfilling a part of his duty. He's not only taking care of her, that includes helping her with the baby. Apparently they are all close-friends; and the biological-father usually has some say about who's to be godfather of his offspring.
I think you're a little caught-up in this guy; but he seems to treat you like a partner. You mentioned "other officers;" so it seems he's hanging with a friend, comrade, and fellow-officer. You're trying to turn it into a romantic-situation; and questioning the intentions and motives behind his taking care of someone close enough to him to make him godfather of her child. That doesn't make sense, and you're coming-off a bit over-protective, judgemental, and intrusive into his personal-life.
I would think the mother and father of the child are in regular contact; and if anyone has reason to question his motives or why he's involved, that would be the baby's daddy!
I always suggest people not use their workplace as their dating-pool. When things go sour; people get unprofessional and they put their own job, or the job or another person in jeopardy. He seems pretty involved right-now. Seek romance outside your job!
He's in the middle of getting over a break-up with his fiance. That's not an opening made for your convenience. Show a little respect.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (19 April 2018):
It could be possible that the babies father is out working and well he is very close to his friend so he is helping out. It really is impossible for me or anybody else to say if he has stronger feelings for his friend or not. I can understand why you would find it strange.
Again I am not sure if he is romantically interested in you. He keeps bringing up his ex which makes me think that he is still not over her yet. If that is the case he might just be looking for friendship at the moment. Are you hoping for something romantic to happen between you both? Sometimes it is a bad idea to get in to a relationship with someone you work with in case it doesn't work out.
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