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Why is it that I can throw my self at guys that I'm not into but...not with the guys I like?

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Question - (26 April 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 April 2007)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

why is it that i can throw my self at guys that i'm not really into but not the one i really like and would want to be with? There's this guy who I really like and apparently he likes me too but i'm too afraid to let on anything to let him know that i like him... But when i go out to parties and i'm around other guys i find no difficulty in naively getting with guys who i do not like in that way... Is this normal behaviour?

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A male reader, Jamesy4444 United Kingdom +, writes (26 April 2007):

Jamesy4444 agony aunthi, I guess that from what u have said you really like this one guy but feel that if you let him know how you feel then you risk being hurt either if he rejects you or it doesnt work out for some reason. You get with the other guys cos u dont care what they think and they can be brushed off easily. It is often hard to admit we really like someone as this opens us up to the possibility of being hurt. But heres the rub u cannot love with out the chance of being hurt, i suggest that spend time with this guy u like and give him many signals that u are interested in him with out saying it and wait for him to make a move. Hope it works out

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A female reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx United Kingdom +, writes (26 April 2007):

xxxsoulsistaxxx agony auntI think it shows you're insecurities. You don't think these 'good' guys will be interested in getting with you so you go for the ones you know you can get with. This is perfectly normal, no one likes to be knocked back. But maybe it's time to do something about your confidence levels if it's stopping you getting where you want to be in life.

Do some work on yourself, either with or without counselling and really try and build up a more confident you. Then start getting to know these guys who were out of the 'old' you's league. So what if you get knocked back? It's their loss! And you won't know until you try.

Good luck

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