| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Why does it often seem like people are harder on guys who won't give oral than they are on girls? Even just browsing through questions on here, I've noticed that when a guy complains that his girl won't give bjs people tend to get a bit defensive and say that she probably just isn't comfortable with it, or doesn't like it, and he should grin and bear it if he really loves her... or he should be a better boyfriend and maybe then she'll want to please him, etc.But if a girl complains about a boy not giving her oral, usually people say that the boy is being selfish and and uncaring, and ought to do it for his girlfriend basically whether he likes it or not. Another thing I tend to notice is that when it comes to girls giving head, people really drive it home that just because she doesn't want to do it, it doesn't mean she doesn't love you. Whereas with guys, it seems to be generally implied that guys who won't give oral must not care about you very much. It's just something I've noticed that seems a little unfair. I mean, on the contrary, I think if anyone should be viewed as uncaring for not giving oral, it should be girls, just because it's so much easier for us to do it than it is for guys (at least that's how it seems to me; I've received oral but I'm straight and I've never given it to a girl before, so I don't know how hard it actually is. It just seems - and feels - a lot more difficult and mysterious than a blowjob.). But then again I really enjoy giving head, so maybe I'm a little biased on that point. I don't know, I'm not trying to rip on anyone or say that girls should be expected to give oral - not in the least. I don't think they should be, and I don't think guys should be expected to either. I'm just wondering why it's not equally acceptable and unquestioned for guys not to give oral as it is for girls.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2009): Double standard.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): Well it's not a double standard because men and women are different sexually. Some women can't come at all unless through oral sex. If a woman like that has a boyfriend who won't give her oral sex, then I think you can say he is being selfish.
But men generally orgasm much easier and oral sex is just something extra and fun. If you deny a guy oral sex, it's not like he'll never be sexually satisfied during sex ever again. Some men reuse giving oral sex because they oppose the way their woman smells, tastes etc. That hurts. But sometimes women refuses giving oral sex because it makes them feel degraded. Different reasons.
I think it's wrong for either party to demand it and not give it, regardless of gender. I'm a woman and I hate receiving oral, yet LOVE giving it. Just saying that it's not so much a stereotype as it is a personal preference.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): That is right.. a double standard there. There are many double standards. I have thought about it and have an idea why people react that way when a guy pushes a girl to do something sexual that she is not comfortable with. A girl needs a guy for many things.. from opening a jar to serious things including sex. Basically a guy needs a girl only for sex or spreading his genes speaking in terms of evolution. That is why a girl guards her sexuality so aggressively and gets so upset when things go wrong becoz that is all she got to offer... kinda a survival instinct thing I suppose.
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A
male
reader, 2old4this  +, writes (31 March 2009):
 It's called a double standard. Just like if guys have had alot of sex partners then they are studs. But if girls have had alot then they are sluts. Sucks doesnt it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): ....i live in a reverse world to you...
easier to give oral to girls, by miles...love giving never seen it as a problem or unacceptable.
just think its a harder technique to learn the other way round.
Star.x.
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