A
female
age
,
*azzie
writes:I have been married for a very long time.About 10 years ago I discovered that my h was a porn/sex addict, he has never sought help, just thought that he could hide it better, now with the use of pocket porn, his mobile phone, he has a constant supply whenever he wants. We do occasionally have sex but it is never very satisfactory, no foreplay, he just arouses himself, then tells me to jump on, and pushes me off when he has finished. Great, like I say, terrible sex life. So to the point, he has been having trouble keeping erections, no surprise there, most porn addicts do develop ED, so he has a script from the doc's for Viagra, this has been for around 2 years now, and I have noticed that sometimes there are one or two pills missing, but he hasn't had sex with me, um strange.So I have been keeping a real eye on this and last week he took 2 pills and put them in his bedside cabinet, he didn't tell me.All week they were there, until Thursday when they had gone, no sex with me. Do I ask him why he is hiding/taking Viagra behind my back, I can only imagine why he would do that, is he using it to masterbate, or worse, any help advice please, I do want to talk to him about it, but I know it will end up in an argument.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 January 2016):
 That is cause for alarm bells, it sounds like he could be having an affair am afraid.
A
female
reader, kazzie +, writes (27 January 2016):
kazzie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much for taking the time to reply, it is all good advice. I would not know how to check if he has joined any adult sites, I have access to his emails and there is nothing untoward there, unless of course he has another email address that I don't know about, anything is possible, so how could I find out? I know that he has taken to shaving off his chest hair, says he doesn't like it coz it is grey, and he trims his pubic and underarm hair too, this has been going on for about 6 months now, I did wonder why he would start and do that.
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A
male
reader, somewhere_between +, writes (27 January 2016):
 Have you any idea why he could be hiding the viagra from you? I think it is wrong just to jump to assumptions that he is playing away, like a couple .
You should sit him down and find out why he cannot talk to you about personal issues.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2016): I cannot believe someone would buy or use viagra just to masturbate over porn. It sounds very dubious all that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2016): He is cheating. Hide his pills and see how much he panics. I think you need to play detective there is more to this than just ED.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2016): If he is of the 51-59 age group, could he be struggling with erections anyway - with or without porn. Either way, if he is glued to porn, he cannot be getting the excitement he requires and you need to get some straight answers, and then act on it.
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A
female
reader, Jeanette82 +, writes (26 January 2016):
 I cannot imagine anyone taking viagra just to masturbate. I think you need to do a bit of homework. Check that he isnt on dating or adult hook up sites. It sounds very unusual having missing viagra if there has been no sex.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (26 January 2016):
From your post it seems that you have accepted his sex addiction. Its a shame it was not nipped in the bud and has been allowed to go on this long. It is terrible unfair on you to be in a marriage where there is no passion or love between the sheets.
He has obviously been to the doctor about his ED and that is probably normal after all these years of using his imagination and watching porn instead of experiencing real sex.
It is worrying that he is hiding viagra from you. Is it possible that he is using it to be with someone else? When he takes it does he leave the house?
Yes you should ask him why he is hiding it from you, yes he probably will get angry and self defensive and shut you out. But this is your husband, you are both meant to be close and talk about these things. Yes it may end up in an argument, but you need to tell him how he is neglecting you and your needs. He needs to start being a good husband.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (26 January 2016):
 Yes ask him. Why not. What's going on? You need to know. And there definitely needs to be some improvement in the sex between you. Time for a summit meeting I believe. If he doesn't attend to your needs then it's time to start withdrawing some wife-ly favours to get your point across.
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A
female
reader, sharimartin  +, writes (26 January 2016):
He could be using it to masturbate since sex is so important in one's life especially a male. If he used it to have sex with someone else, it may not have worked anyway. Usually guys who have a sex issue have a sex issue with most everyone even an extremely sexy lady. This issue usually doesn't change with a different partner. Please talk to him about this; its a very important issue in your relationship. He, undoubtedly, will need the services of a sex or relationship therapist and a doctor. You will also have to seek help with him perhaps. But don't let this matter continue as it might put an end to your marriage or at the very least impair it. Good luck and let us know how it all goes. Andie Mac
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2016): Viagra gone, no sex? That is probably the reason he hides them from you because he is not taking them for you.
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