A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: 9 years ago (15-16yrs old)I dated a guy in H.S. But we only dated for about a month before he broke up with me over the phone. In that month we were together we had sex and seems like all the guys were talking about it..Well next school year he sees me for registration and all of a sudden writes to me on social media. "Tryna get in your pants again" wow . No respect obviously..Well Fast fwd a few months and now I'm dating a new guy from school, he knows about me and my ex and hates him!!!, everything between us is good, this new guy respects me, and truly likes me! except now my ex is sending me texts and tryna be in my life again. Well I'm really into this new guy now so I'm ignoring my ex. We graduate, and life goes on.. well guess what. I've been with my HS sweetheart for 8 years now and my EX has tried contacting me probably this entire time at one point or another.!! We have spoken a few times, we met up a few times, had sex once, met up for oral another time, and then stopped talking then he pops back into my life..(that all seemed to happen when my bf and I were having problems) Well my HS sweetheart and I broke up a few months ago and my ex popped back into my life!! Wow!! (25yrs old now) So this time I decided to actually talk to him and catch up because sadly, my feelings for him kinda never left! But he's married now and has a child. :( so why is he still looking for me? I didn't let that bother me and decided to talk to him anyway. So I guess it has kinda turned Into an affair over text, sending pix and talking about meeting up and hooking up.. Well we talked about meeting up and he stood me up about 5x! It's been 2 months that we've been talking and we've met once for a bj!. He has told me Things like "you're for me only" and "I left you cuz I was stupid".. well the other day I said to him all of this will one day end. And he replied with "I don't want it to end"... then I confessed that I liked him and it all went downhill. He said let's meet up tomorrow and talk about it, sure enough the next day he never wrote to me. Never replied to me and I've been stood up once again.... I feel so stupid. I have asked him why after so many years he is still looking for me but never tells me why. Once he said "you've got that good good" ughm really! I know I should move on. But..I feel I can't. And it's more than obvious he only wants me for sex.. and I let him, and end up losing respect for myself..:( but why me? He has his wife now.Idk if he'll write to me again now. And it makes me sad but I also feel so stupid. And regret telling him my feelings. Ugh what now.
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affair, broke up, move on, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 June 2017):
 What kinda girl cheats on her boyfriend? Then cheats with a married man? Personally karma seems to have caught you good for the bad you have done. Yes it is obvious he wanted sex from you, he has never respected you, always saw you has a sex object. Block him from ever being able to contact you again.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2017): Not many single girls are attracted to married men so he must be counting his blessings for having you. Alas you dont seem to be immune to the charms of this guy although you know he is abusing you. Sorry to say this he has never loved you this guy from the first day. I understand your dilema because as they say a woman never forgets her first lover. That might be true but they can certainly get over them. I suggest if your circumstances allow, move to another city where there will not be any chance to bump to him in the street. Start new in a new place. Have a best female friend in whom you can confide and seek support. Go out dancing and meet people. You will find someone who will love and appreciate you. There are millions of decent guys out there.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (24 June 2017):
 Just block/delete the stupid ex-bf and live your life.
The ex is not looking to reconnect, he is looking to USE you and be an ass to his wife AND you. You have already shown him that you are easy to convince to doing sexual favors for him THAT is why he continues. WHY would you want such a twatwaffle in your life?
Focus on your new partner, leave the ex-bf in the dust.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 June 2017):
 Now, you block him, do not respond to any attempts to contact if he tries again, ignore him, and move on with your life , as it is about time. What else ? What else would you want to do ?
You know he is using you for sex !, and also without much resoect or much duscretuin. Ther's nothing in this for you,so if he does not stop- YOU can stop him. Very easily.
Why does it do it ? Because he can ! Because he wants to get laid , or get a BJ, without any hassle or effort and you make it so damn easy and convenient for him ! Because this worked for him so far- all he's got to do is call, and you , whether you are single or not, always dropped everything ( and your pants too ) to run to him !. That's a sweet deal for him , no wonder he likes to keep it going .
If you mean why can't he be faithful to his wife, that's a good question. Then again, at times you too cheated with him on your bf, right ? so I guess the answer could be : because some people have trouble with monogamy and have poor impulse control, and let their lust and whims prevail on any other consideration of what's right or wrong,once the mood strikes.
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A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (24 June 2017):
 The most important part is at the end. You know he is using you. He wants to keep his wife and get a bit on the side, and he will break you up with every guy you ever get with to keep his little bit of extra, because that is all you are to him, a toy. He knows how to push your buttons. To take back the power cut off all contact with him. Accept no contact from him in any way and when he bumps into you just by chance (even though he will have being waiting for you to pass for hours) tell him it is over. You have put him in the past and don't have anything to do with him again. Then walk away and start enjoying life again.
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