A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:My bf of 6 yrs is great, but it is sometimes hard to get him to be forthcoming with info. He won't tell me something til the last minute esp if he thinks it might bother me. I notice he does this w/his family, too. He is a sort of shy person, but it sometimes makes him seem secretive even though I have never really found him to be sneaky. Yesterday at his house there were a bunch of ppl around and he had to call his friend back. He hardly talks on the phone and does not have a lot of friends. He went into his room and shut the door which he also sometimes does when he has to call his mom and I'm around I went in and he was talking to his friend and said he didn't want to bother anyone. Is this weird or something that might indicate he is not honest do you think? 4 or 5 years ago he was doing a cyber thing w/ someone on the internet and lied about it big time. He confessed to it last year saying he didn't want anything between us, so I don't get why he doesn't just openly say things or why he hides to talk on the phone. I don't know if I just have some baggage about that or if there is a red flag here. Reality check needed.
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female
reader, pashanoodle  + ♥, writes (27 May 2008):
 Hmmm, I am not sure that his phone call indicates he is being secretive or not - but I think the fact that you find yourself wondering what he's up to,whether there is something you don;t know etc - shows that something has shifted in your ability to trust him fully. I don;t know that in's and out's of the "internet thing" he confessed to, but I am assuming it was something that left you feeling betrayed and challenged the way you view him, yourself and your relationship perhaps? If it were me I would try talking with your BF about your current feelings and insecurities - if you can do this in a non blaming way that'll help - and if he has insight into his past actions he should be able to understand why you are feeling/thinking the way you are...and then perhaps te two of you can figure out some ways he can help you feel less suspicious, and able to trust him again. Eg: If he is gonna be late home - he makes sure he calls you and lets you know, gives an ETA etc.I guess I am assuming a fair bit here...but, if you've had your trust broken before it is normal to be worried it might happen again. Talk to him - give him the chance to prove you wrong!I hope it is a simple a scenario as the previous poster implied!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): i was always brought up to leave the room to take a call 1 for quiet so to hear clearly and 2 out of politeness, i still avoid taking any calls on public transport or in front of other people as i feel it is rude maybe he's just trying to be polite
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