A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have been living with my boyfriend for a year and lately he has been distant. Not ass affectionate and attentive as before. I just felt like something was off so i checked his text messages (up until now i have never felt a need to) and saw messages from another girl sending him pictures of herself (nothing provocative) and he sent her a text saying, "hey beautiful, hows ur day?" i feel really guilty about snooping but now i am more upset about the texts. the only women he should have pics of is me and he doesn't even send me a "hey beautiful" text. although he useto. I want to confront him about it but i feel shitty for invading his privacy and don't know if i should admit to it and tell him. But obviously i cant act like nothings there. We live together and his 3 year old daughter lives w/ us as well. what should i do?
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (15 July 2010):
 Sorry hun, Where there is smoke there is usually fire.
Own up to the fact that you snooped. You obviously had a gut instinct telling you something was up. Yes, I don't really approve of snooping, but I really HATE cheating. Ask him point blank and don't accept stupid answer, like "oh she is just someone who likes to send pictures or.. it was really supposed to be send to my friend Kyle's phone.."
Unless that is his Mom or his sister(odd to call either beautiful but OK.)
It may not be something now, but it sure looks like a "good" beginning for an emotional/physical affair.
A
female
reader, Lotsalove. +, writes (15 July 2010):
 I was in the exact same situation as you. My boyfriend was really secretive with his phone, so one night when he was asleep i went through it and what do i find? Girls sending him pictures of themselves, nothing provocative, but still. Texts saying things like 'Hey babe' 'Thanks for the picture gorgeous' And i just wanted to strangle him there in his sleep.
I didnt wanna tell him i went snooping, so i just brought it up when he was secretive again. He said 'My phone is the only private thing he has'.. 3 Months later i find out hes been cheating on me. So from my story, just be cautious and waery of his actions. Im not saying your bf is cheating on you, but his intentions look like they're all there.
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A
female
reader, 1989BABY +, writes (15 July 2010):
 I would let him know what you seen and why you did what you did. I would also let him know how much it upsets you to see how much he appreciates another woman more than you. Because 2 things can happen he can apologize and you can forgive him or He can get upset that you snooped giving you the reason to believe its something more.
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A
female
reader, karen1989  +, writes (15 July 2010):
 Your not stupid so don't let him play you for a fool!
Obviously if theres photos of another women on his phone and hes sent her msgs saying 'hey beautiful' theres something not quite right. 'Hey beautiful' is something men say when they are trying to chat a woman up, or something they say to a woman they are already involved with. Its not something they would say to a woman whos a friend.
Confront him. Don't feel guilty about looking through his phone-he has given you reason too. And if he says something like 'its an invasion of privacy to look through someones phone' make it clear to him that you sensed something was wrong and that you felt you had to take action. Stand your ground..you want to know who this woman is and what part she plays in his life.
Good luck :).
Karen
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