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Why is he playing me hot and cold?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 July 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 22 July 2008)
A female Canada age 26-29, *ix writes:

Hi all.

My situation is something that has been breweing for a few months now (since about April).

My problem in a nutshell is:

I have a co-worker I am very attracted to, and I'm fairly certain he is attracted to me to some degree, however I don't know WHAT that degree it is. Furthermore, this "like" is becoming extremely emotional taxing. I think about him night and day, but he keeps playing games with me being hot then cold and not making his intentions or feelings clear.

Last night whilst drunk I told him that I liked him via text, and he didn't respond to that but just carried on with the rest of our conversation...I am very confused, because he'll say he'll do things, but then he never follows through. For one, he told me he would take me out to dinner because I took a shift for him and we still haven't gone and its been a few weeks. He says he hasn't forgotten, but the fact that he hasn't set a time aggravates me. Not only this, but a few weeks ago he sent me a text saying "Love ya" and my nickname...I told him I loved him too but ahh. I don't he interested in me? Hes always putting his arm around me at work and we have really good conversations, but I can never seem to get a hold of him out side of work.

Another aspect to the situation is that we are almost complete opposites interests wise - he is a hockey player, and I'm a nerdy film student. Yet somehow we have this weird chemisty. The only problem is I don't know how he feels about it? I think he wants to be with me, but something is holding him back.. Should I forget about him?

Thanks and sorry for the length.

View related questions: at work, co-worker, drunk, player, text

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A female reader, Jix Canada +, writes (22 July 2008):

Jix is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Jix agony auntHi again everyone.

Thank you for all of your responses...although a lot of them have differing opinions it gives me a better idea of the situation.

I think what I will do is just keep flirting with him, but I'm not going to write off any other guys.

Its hard to forget about him completely because although he keeps pulling away, I have a feeling that some part of him is actually attracted to ME and not just the idea of me lusting after him... I don't know though, I try to be optimistic too much sometimes haha.

I'll try to be cool about it like I like him but its not the end of the world if he doesn't feel the same, I guess. :)

Thank you everyone for your advice...More advice is always welcomed too...would love to hear any other thoughts.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008):

I'm sorry that you are in this situation...but to be honest, I don't think the feeling are mutual with this fella. To me, he sounds like one of those guy to loves to keep women on a string, yet he gets to fly free. I think his only attraction to you, is to make sure you are attracted to him. Some guys are dill weeds like that. I hope all goes well Sweet Pea. You sound like a doll, and you deserve someone who will cherrish you, not be a doll collector.

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A female reader, sarah marie Bangladesh +, writes (22 July 2008):

Hello, I have a simillar problem. I am twenty and I have fallen in love with this man at my work who is quite a bit older than me. We flirt and talk constantly, the other night we went out for after work drinks and he was so sweet with me and kissed me on the cheek. The next day at work he was all chatty and sometimes we come face to face and I think he'll almost kiss me but then he pulls away. Now he only seems to flirt with me when his friend is about, a friend who likes me and I dont know if this is some odd man thing, but I love him, im sure of it and he just keeps playing hot and cold. Its breaking my heart.

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A female reader, Jix Canada +, writes (21 July 2008):

Jix is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Jix agony auntYeah as much as I didn't want to hear that I know (and probably always have) that you're right. I guess its hard for me to distance myself away from him since I work with him all the time and my friends keep telling me that hes totally into me - I guess not, eh? Not only that, but I hate being single...and he was really the only guy in my life that I thought I had an inkling of a chance with...

Anyways...thank you for the wakeup call. Hah.

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A male reader, V1RG1N Angel United Kingdom +, writes (21 July 2008):

V1RG1N Angel agony auntooooooooohhhhhhh Thats really annoying i think u should find out wether hes like this with everyone if he is its not just u if hes not forget about him and try for someone else hope this helps!

:0) keep smiling

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