A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Any advice would be greatly appreciated.I started working at a car dealership, in their admin team 14 months ago. From day 1 the sales manager took an instant dislike to me and I don't know why....If I would ever say "morning" to him he'd reply with a grunt, when he'd come in our office he'd acknowledge everyone but me. He saw me once walking behind him with a tray of drinks and just let the door slam in front of me. At first I thought I was being paranoid and that as the rest of team had been there longer he knew them to chat too but this theory didn't last long as when we got new employees in he'd chat to them.Whenever he emailed me to do some work for him there was never "please or thanks" but my other colleagues always got polite emails from him.I did causally mention it to my manager 1 day and she said not to worry about it.What has really upset me us what happened the other week...The sales manager came in our office on Friday asking if anyone would be happy to work Sunday as there was a sales event and some of his guys had let him down. He needed people to meet and greet, assist with test drives and serve drinks. two other girls and I volunteered.On Sunday he assigned is each a job and said throughout the day we'd swap and get a chance to do different tasks. I was assigned serving drinks to customers in our customer lounge- which was fine. I'd been there from 8am and at 1pm i asked if it was possible to be placed on another station as I was exhausted (I hadn't had a break in those 5 hours) and he bluntly said no.There then was an opportunity for us to all have team picture taken and as I made my way with everyone else he told me to get back to the customer lounge - I explained that all customers had been taken care of (it would have taken 2 minutes to have the photo taken and the drinks area is also self service) but he insisted I go back.The next day at work- Monday he had sent an email out to the entire dealership thanking everyone for their efforts. He noted a special thanks to my 2 colleagues by saying they came in on their day off to help- well so did I but there was no mention of me! Then to top it all whilst we were all at lunch he dropped off 2 goody bags to my 2 colleagues with a note thanking them for Sunday- I didn't get one!I mentioned this to my manager who said she'd have a word but I doubt has as I never got my goody bag. I cannot think why he is like this towards me. We don't have my mutual friends and I have never left a job under bad circumstances so it's not like someone he knows had anything bad to say about me. I also have always done a good job in my current role and never been in trouble.The reason im reluctant to confront him is that he's 1 of these men who knows everyone in the town and if he puts in a bad word against you'll struggle to find work. There was an instance when he bullied one of his sales execs so this guy reported him to HR- the next thing the sales guy lost his job and then struggled to get a job in the motor industry because the sales manager bad mouthed him to everyone. Everyone seems to be scared of him so I feel stuck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2015): That sounds like an intolerable situation to me. Judging from your post you are extremely intelligent, eloquent and literate. I see how you've spelt everything correctly, correct grammar and punctuation. Very rare these days, very rare. I'd employ you in a heartbeat! This isn't about a goodie bag is it? I can't believe that's been mentioned as being the problem ... you've just citied it as one of the instances of unfair treatment haven't you? This man seems totally ignorant and arrogant and I couldn't tolerate it either.Who says you have to work in that field? Try your hand at something else. I think any employer would be glad to have you. But get a new job first if you want to stay in this field. I wouldn't be happy with this either and I don't think it has anything to do with being sensitive. It's about getting recognition for a job well done and not being bullied. This isn't the playground is it?
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (23 November 2015):
 He sounds like someone who likes holding power and making other people's lives miserable - what an asshat.
I would actually consider look for another job. Because no one in your job is going to support you in standing up to him. And it does create a negative environment for you, unless you are somehow able to accept that he is a twat-waffle and he just don't like you.. And you seem a little (no offense) sensitive. Because seriously? who cares if he doesn't give you a goodie-bag? Or if he doesn't like you. Maybe he wanted another candidate for the job, but you won out. Maybe he sense you are a sensitive person. Who knows.
So if you stay, keep doing your job, excel at it and regard him as a hostile co-worker - which means you stay professional, polite and don't let him see he has you pegged for being easy prey to bully. I would also not volunteer to help him again. No need to go out of your way so he can ignore you some more.
The thing is with a job, not everyone will like you. Not everyone will treat you right. Just like you won't like everyone else either.
I don't think going to HR will do you any good as he "technically" hasn't done anything "bad" other than snub you.
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