A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy online a few months back. We got on well, there was chemistry and he only lived a 5 minute drive from me.Right from the start even though his profile said he was looking for a relationship I knew he was only after the physical side. We began seeing each other, it lasted about a month. He never asked me out on a proper date so I carried on using my online dating. We hadn't talked about feelings and he was always vague with his answers. He got annoyed at me being online so I stopped going on the site. He would text me daily but I got the feeling he was stringing me on, he wasn't as available as he'd been before and I suspected he was seeing someone else.He arranged to see me one night knowing he was ill or so he says and then drops the plans last minute. I got annoyed at the next day told him I thought he was brushing me off. He was annoyed at me accused me of causing drama etc. I told him I didn't want that and that was the last we spoke. Two weeks went by without a word. I assumed he'd moved on.Then he suddenly pops back up on the dating site with a new profile.He sends me a message saying he thought it was a shame things didn't work out as the sex had been great. I reply that I felt the same, then nothing. Is this guy dangling a carrot? Or is he just rubbing my nose in the fact that he's back online?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2017): He just renewed his subscription to the site; and he's just trying to mend fences. He hopes to avoid being cock-blocked.
As you mentioned, he did have words with you; then totally ignored you.
The message is basically a very delicate brush-off.
He doesn't want you pissed at him; in the event he may someday want to attempt a booty-call.
Close that door and nail it shut!!!
He doesn't live that far from you, and you're likely to cross paths. You just might run across him with a date! Best he stay on your good-side.
As tempting as it might be to say something if this happens, take the high road. You can do much better anyway.
A
male
reader, Riot2017  +, writes (3 August 2017):
IMHO, the guy is just after sex, and if you have no problem with that, keep dating him.
His vague answers is a red flag that he is not interested in a relationship.
Also, the fact that he already knew you wanted a relationship means that he prays on people like you, looking like if he is also looking for a relationship.
If you really want a long term relationship, that guy is not in the same page, and you will probably be wasting your time.
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A
female
reader, ALM12  +, writes (3 August 2017):
 II OP wouldn't even give him any attention anymore. Maybe that might help
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (3 August 2017):
 Oh, he just wants you to NOT move on and maybe be available to casual sex.
I don't think he is trying to rub your nose in the fact that he is back online. He wanted to remind you that he is around. NOT for a relationship but for sex. THAT is why he also brought up that sex was good. Just in case you get horny or desperate.
I say block him and move on. He is a time waster.
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A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (3 August 2017):
 I don't understand why people jump into bed and have sex with others if they are looking for a serious relationship, I am not against casual sex if bought people are into it and are consenting adults but when you're looking for a serious relationship it is best in my book to keep things out of the bedroom as long as you can until you know and trust the partner is not just out for easy sex,you say you carried on using my online dating site so that tells me you did not trust this guy from the very start,I could go on all day about things like when he complained about you being on line but how did he know unless he was in line as well and why was it to spy on you or was it to look for other girls,But to your real question, he is back looking for more casual sex and if I GOT FREE drink in one bar where am I going to go look for drink again but keep my out for other victims or posable serious girlfriend, he is open to all and happy to take what he can get,Best to build from your experiences from this and take that experience with you and if your mind or gut is telling you red flag it is probably right and try to build a relationship before you add in sex
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (3 August 2017):
 I think your suspicions are correct. You have let yourself be a source for uncomplicated sex. He wants to come back for more. It's not difficult to understand. It isn't even wrong if you both are playing by the same rules.
I believe that if you run your love life from a dating site then the likelihood of partners just looking for sex is going to be quite high.
Call me old fashioned but I think it can be difficult to assess what you are attracting through the interweb. Better to stick with real life.
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