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Why has my teacher been treating me differently than anyone else?

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Question - (30 June 2009) 10 Answers - (Newest, 21 July 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Why has my teacher been treating me differently than anyone else?

This year, he's given me full credit (twice) for an answer that I put, and half to the rest of the class who wrote the same answer. He's also thrown papers to everyone else but handed them to me. He's also given me much higher grades on one essay and one paper than what i deserved, and taken late homework from me (though it's the school's policy not to).

He doesn't do this for anyone else... does he feel bad for me, or something? it's odd.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you! thank you!

and yes, i'm usually extremely high acheiving.

and he's not my teacher anymore, so it's not like he can lower my grades! though he is writing my college recommendation, so i shouldn't anger him...

so you think i should ask him? just casually?

and thank you for sharing your experiance! i may pm yo later on...

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A female reader, mysterious_blonde_lady United Kingdom +, writes (21 July 2009):

Hmmm, well if you were younger i'd be a bit more worried. I am sure you are capable of dealing with this situation accordingly. Essentially I can't tell you what is going on because i need more information to do so; however i can make a few suggestions. If you are traditionally a low-achieving student it may be that he is trying to build your confidence, however because you are noticing that the marks he is giving you are wrong, this suggests to me you are traditionally more towards the top end of achievement. In light of this; I can assume'' it may be that your teacher wants you to like him, because he is attracted to you and is hoping to 'bribe' you into returning his feelings. It's difficult for me to say; i can tell you an experience i had with a teacher that is slightly similar but may be more extreme.

My teacher used to help me alot, he used to upgrade me, he used to do things for me, overlook deadlines and this was all favourist. He was attracted to me, and the fact that he did all of these things for me was really nice and very flattering. However, i missed the underlying motive; a few years into this behaviour he started suggesting that i 'give him a thankyou' for the help. I ignored it and finally one day he turned around to me and said he couldn't help me anymore unless i gave something back. When i refused he lowered my grade innappropriately. His underlying motive was dependancy - he wanted me to need the grades he gave me because remember; if he can higher them he can lower them too. And you know what happens if you report it? He says it was a mistake and carries on. This is the problem, make sure you have some record of all the grades he has given you innappropriately that way if he ever does try anything you have evidence of his innappropriate behaviour. Teachers who grade based on who they like or are attracted to are unreliable and grossly unprofessional - never good things in a teacher.

Ask him about it; this may provide some answers - just ask him nicely 'I was wondeirng why i got this grade when (whoever) got this one and wrote the same thing; what is it i'm doing that is right. etc... watch out for him saying 'ok i'll lower it' that is an admission that he knows what he is doing is wrong, and it is also blackmail. (Trying to exhibit control over you by suggesting that if you don't adhere the grades can easily go down.) Be very careful not to get reliant on them that's my advice.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009):

ur teacher prob has a crush on u or thinks ur cute. i have this teacher that is sooooooo perverted and gives out extra credit to whoever wears short skirts. sickkkk.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (2 July 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntI know you want us to tell you that this teacher is madly in love with you. You are crushing big time and as you can see by all the postings your situation is more than a little common. If your teacher is truly unfairly grading his papers and tests a student will definitely call him on it. In fact, why don't you do a service to your fellow students and bring it up yourself?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

because i know what other people are getting in his other classes (small school) and i'm in my own class, so i know that i'm the only one getting credit, etc.

he's also a notorious hard-a$$. then why does he add up points on my test wrong, but in my favor?

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (1 July 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntHow do you know he doesn't do this for other students? Are you in his class all day?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i don't have any special situation, so i'm not sure why he'd feel bad for me, exactly.

and he's 29.

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A female reader, ffogalilly United States +, writes (1 July 2009):

This guy sounds creepy how old is he? I would go talk to your school counselor about this, if you feel like anything he is doing is inappropriate, you should never have to feel uncomfortable around your teachers.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (1 July 2009):

Honeypie agony auntHe might see potential in you and want you to try and strive for it, maybe he feels sorry for yo or maybe he's just a little creepy, hard to say based on what you wrote.

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A male reader, dan026 United States +, writes (1 July 2009):

dan026 agony auntDepends, maybe he feels badly for you (don't know your situation) or maybe he likes you in a way that teachers shouldn't. Can't really say based on the post.

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